We Recorded on the 21st

Three friends gather for an unfiltered, chaotic conversation that ranges from UFO hunting and service dogs to bizarre food habits and hypothetical drunk treehouses. The rambling, authentic discussion reveals their quirky personalities while offering surprising moments of wisdom about human connection.

• Becca recounts spending her afternoon listening to UFO-attracting frequencies while staring at the sky like a Pez dispenser
• Kyle shares insights about his service dog Steel, who helps him manage his seizure disorder and narcolepsy
• Heated debate erupts over controversial food combinations, including Becca's habit of dipping tortilla chips in cold canned soup
• The hosts establish rules for their hypothetical "drunk treehouse," including the strict policy that no one can enter while sober
• Discussion of weird jobs leads to Kyle's joke about working on a dildo-painting assembly line
• Angie sparks a passionate regional debate about the proper color and preparation of gravy
• The friends share strategies for dealing with telemarketers by flipping the script and promoting their podcast

Subscribe to the Black Curtain Club on all social media. We're putting out new episodes every Monday, posting clips almost every day, and we deserve your attention. So give it to us, or else.

Alternative Titles:

• Chaotic Confessions
• From UFO Signals to Dirty Food Habits: An Unfiltered Conversation
• Service Dogs, Condiment Crimes, and Glory Holes Should Never Mix
• Bitch Angie Makes the Gravy
• What Happens in the Drunk Treehouse Stays in the Drunk Treehouse

Transcript

Welcome to the Black Curtain Club

Speaker 1 0:21

Before we begin today's episode of the Black Curtain Club podcast, we would like to share a quick disclaimer. The views, opinions and statements expressed by the hosts and guests on this podcast are their own personal views and are provided in their own personal capacity. All content is editorial, opinion-based and intended for entertainment purposes only. Listener discretion is advised, okay.

Speaker 2 0:47

Hi everybody, Welcome to the Black Curtain Club podcast. This is Becca, and today I have Angie and Kyle with me. How are you guys doing today? Hey, that me it is.

Speaker 3 0:59

It's a weird day.

Speaker 2 1:00

It is a weird day. It's gonna get so much weirder. It's gonna get so much weirder, it's going to get so much weirder. Do you want to know what I was doing this afternoon? Kyle with Angie here.

Speaker 4 1:12

Wait a minute. Oh it's that kind of episode.

Speaker 2 1:18

So one of my friends sent me a link for this supposed frequency that attracts UFOs and UAPs. So today, while I was on a Discord call with Angie, I was listening to this thing, just blaring it in my ears and staring up at the sky like a Pez dispenser. So I spent my afternoon, and that might be why Angie's having a weird day. It's a perfect visual.

Speaker 4 1:46

Just full 90 degrees. But, like you said, you were on a call, so no, I also literally see you holding your phone, like how everyone holds their phones on speakerphone in front of you, which would be like right at about candy level of a Pez dispenser also.

Speaker 2 2:01

Yeah level of a pez dispenser also. So like, yeah, at one point I turned on my, I turned on my camera and I was spinning in my backyard, which is very visible to, like the general public, by the way. I was spinning around with my camera on giving them a panoramic view of the sky, so if the uap showed up, they would see it too, but I'll tell you, nothing showed up.

Speaker 3 2:19

There were a lot of planes, though yeah, I was gonna say the highlight came when you started counting the planes in the sky, asking how many planes were unusual to be in the sky at any given time, seeing that you live an hour away from a major airport you're right, but it just seemed like seven was a lot of planes to notice, and I was.

UFO Hunting and Pet Shenanigans

Speaker 2 2:44

It would be really smart if the aliens snuck one under the radar and just made themselves look like a plane. Well, I also, like I was thinking of that movie what is it, don't Worry Darling with Florence Pugh and Harry Styles, where she, like notices the plane. Oh my gosh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's how she realized, like one of the first things she realizes before you know, they're in a simulation all of a sudden, right? So I mean, that was in the back of my mind too.

Speaker 3 3:09

Listen, we're not talking about AI today, absolutely not.

Speaker 2 3:12

No one said that I said simulation Clean out your ears, I know Getting dangerously close. I was going to say, like my son did this thing I don't know if it's because I was outside standing- staring at the sky, looking like an idiot, I forgot about that. He started looking up at the sky and making like noises of distress and like pointing, and I'm like please stop, you're scaring me. I'm gonna cry like it was like classic scary movie. The kids see something I don't.

Speaker 3 3:43

Has it ever happened?

Speaker 2 3:43

to you, kyle, or you Angie, with like your cat.

Speaker 3 3:47

Yeah, I mean yeah, cats see shit. That's not there all the time.

Speaker 4 3:52

Cats also have dementia.

Speaker 2 3:53

All cats are just some.

Speaker 4 3:55

Just Angie's cat.

Speaker 2 3:56

Really.

Speaker 3 3:57

Aww no. Poor little Brie. No, she's an angel.

Speaker 4 4:04

Oh what? Just because you got dementia means you're a bitch?

Speaker 2 4:07

Oh, she's so goofy. I love Brie.

Speaker 4 4:09

Wait, wait.

Speaker 3 4:10

What Brie, my cat. I forgot she had.

Speaker 4 4:14

Brie for a second. Wait, what I was so confused.

Speaker 2 4:19

I was like what the fuck who?

Speaker 4 4:23

I thought there was someone I could have sworn. There was someone I could have swore. There was someone that we associated with Brianna. We called her Brianna. I was like wait a minute. I thought we were talking about the cat. What are we talking about? I was like what?

Speaker 2 4:34

is going on. To be fair, I don't know your dog's name, kyle, but I feel like everybody knows my dog's name.

Speaker 4 4:39

We could play a fun guessing game. You could try to guess my dog's name.

Speaker 2 4:43

What is your dog's name?

Speaker 4 4:45

Her name is Steel.

Speaker 2 4:46

Oh Steel Nice.

Speaker 3 4:48

Okay, thank you, but it's a weird spelling.

Speaker 4 4:53

It is because it's spelled like how you would spell the name Steel, not the metal and not the felony.

Speaker 2 4:58

Not the felony, god, thank you. I hit my mate when you said that I tried really hard not to laugh. Oh my god, I almost choked on smoke. That's a felony song title.

Speaker 4 5:16

Okay, almost choked on smoke save. The fun thing is so the company that we got her from named her before, so she came pre-named. So that was one less thing we had to worry about when we got her.

Speaker 2 5:33

How long have you had her for?

Speaker 4 5:35

Six years this August.

Speaker 2 5:37

And how long has she been a service dog? Her whole life, yep, her whole life. Oh, wow, prestigious.

Speaker 4 5:44

Yes, prestigious.

Speaker 2 5:46

I'll tell her I think she does a fantastic job, even though I've never seen her actually do anything.

Speaker 4 5:50

Hey, yo bitch you the shit I'm paraphrasing, but that's what Becca meant. She really is. Enough people have seen her do her, uh, do her thing. It's uh. It's interesting because, like we still don't know exactly what it is, because like she wasn't actually trained um to alert me to, um my events, because morals and ethics come into play, because they'd have to induce them, they would have to make me have, so it's like you have to learn each other yes, exactly, it's not like illegal.

Speaker 4 6:28

It's just frowned upon to try to train service dogs for seizures that way I could see that yeah, so it'd be hard on both of you probably.

Speaker 2 6:38

It would probably be really stressful for her and be really really stressful for you so I'm glad that you're letting it kind of happen. Naturally you get used to each other, like you would any relationship right.

Speaker 4 6:47

Oh, so what she does when I'm having the seizure is she will either lay down next to me or she'll actually like get under my head, like my pillow, and for the duration of the seizure. Then, once the seizure is stopped, um, she'll then start to like lick my hand, or she'll like lay across me and kind of like lick my face, cause some type of sensory to like help wake me up so she like helps to ground you out of it essentially like just bring you back to your body a little bit okay that makes sense

Speaker 4 7:18

what a smart girl I have the wombo combo of a seizure disorder and narcolepsy. So once the seizure is over I am in full REM sleep. So she's actually waking me up afterwards.

Speaker 2 7:36

Well, I'm glad that you have her because that would be like that's a lot to have to go out into the world with man.

Speaker 4 7:41

I had to be in the world with it for 12 years, 13 years. I had the.

Speaker 2 7:47

I've had the condition before we got her, before I got her something like that so yeah yeah, I just imagine somebody getting my idiot dog like to help them with.

Speaker 4 7:59

Oh exactly wouldn't survive. Exactly, that's terrible. Her training is unbelievable. It really is unbelievable, and God, I wish I remembered his last name, but the trainer that she had, ivan, so she was actually born in Santa Monica, oh, california girl. Yes, ma'am. So when I got her and when she got delivered to me in Connecticut, that winter was the very first winter she ever saw snow. It was the best. We have a video recording of it. It's amazing. Steal the service dog S-T-E-I-L the service dog on Instagram. Yes, she has an Instagram page.

Speaker 2 8:50

Oh yeah, Make her famous.

Speaker 1 8:51

She does a lot for this man. He's a lot to handle.

Speaker 4 8:55

You have no fucking clue, this poor girl. We haven't really posted on it in a couple of years, anyhow.

Speaker 2 9:06

You should get your service dog an emotional support cat.

Speaker 4 9:10

Listen, at this point my service dog is going to need her own goddamn service dog.

Speaker 4 9:14

She's like bro, I didn't sign up for half this crap Anyhow, but her trainer, ivan, he's been doing it, for he had been training dogs, I think he said for like 10 years or 12 years, something like that Ivan, he's been doing it for he had been training dogs, I think he said for like 10 years or 12 years, something like that. When he's trained, quite, he's trained a couple of dogs in that time, um, and he was, and he was telling me it was just like listen, I hope you don't, you know, I hope you trust me when I tell you that I don't just say this to everybody, but, um, you have an incredibly special dog here. I've been doing it for over 10 years now. This has got to be the smartest dog.

Speaker 1 9:52

I think I've ever trained.

Speaker 2 9:55

If she's not the smartest dog.

Speaker 4 9:56

She is, without a doubt, one of the smartest dogs I've ever trained in doing this. That just made me even more excited and nervous, really.

Speaker 2 10:06

I'll never forget Like live up to a lot of potential. Seriously.

Speaker 4 10:10

Like um, because I know that there's still a fair amount of work on my end that I have to do Um like in training her and making sure that it stays. You know that she stays on top of her game and and all that Um so that it stays. You know that she stays on top of her game and all that.

Speaker 2 10:27

So Well, it's like you've adopted an athlete, like you didn't just go out and get one from the pound, like you've got one. That's like I need to be stimulated at all times.

Speaker 4 10:34

Otherwise I'm going to be bouncing off the walls. Absolutely Chocolate Lab too, like I had labs growing up, we always adopted.

Speaker 2 10:43

Labs are my favorite.

Speaker 4 10:46

We just growing up, that's it's we always. We always adopted labs are my favorite. We just got we just we just lucked out growing up.

Speaker 2 10:50

There was always a lab that needed to be adopted, so, um, that's the way it goes yeah and uh.

Speaker 4 10:53

So I know that they're very high energy, they very active and and so on. So it was like, dude, like I get the boohoo sometimes like am I gonna screw her up. I get the boo-hoo sometimes Like am I going to screw her up.

Speaker 2 11:08

That's how I feel about my child. I'm like am I going to screw this up?

Speaker 4 11:12

Oh yeah, knock on wood, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. She hasn't missed one yet in six years, wow, good girl. Hasn't missed one in six years.

Speaker 2 11:22

I'll say okay, so my dog has no training whatsoever, except what I've given her, Like basically sit, sit, still lay down, settle roll over. She does a little spin for me. It's real cute. She does high fives and she'll shake my hand.

Speaker 2 11:35

So she has like a few tricks under her belt. She has not been trained to deal with PTSD in any way whatsoever, but she's gotten familiar with it just from living with me and it's like I never she never needed to be told that. Like I don't want to be touched when I'm having an episode, I don't need, like, physical contact, I don't need, like you, to come lick my face, like she sees me hit the ground and she sits like two feet away from me and just lays down and is calm until it's over, and then she'll come and she'll, like you know, interact with me, and I think it's interesting how intuitive they can be it's nuts about that yeah, man, you just have to raw dog life with a cat, yeah don't hold your head underwater while you're drowning

Speaker 4 12:17

listen, I know you're doing a thing right now, but, um, I'm supposed to fucking eat, and so if my little meow mix isn't in that little dish in about 14 seconds, I'm throwing up on the fucking carpet again yeah, I'm throwing up on the carpet again.

Speaker 2 12:32

I swear to god Angela. I'm gonna puke all over this fucking place how would you like some shit in your shoe, cause I'll put it there.

Speaker 4 12:41

I swear to god I will point blank.

Speaker 2 12:45

I'll look you in the eye while I do it, would you like that, angela?

Speaker 4 12:52

I'd shit for you. I'd shit for you so hard fucking Cass.

Speaker 2 12:59

I can smell your shit. Why did I sound like Rick Grimes?

Speaker 4 13:04

I for one cannot. So that, ladies and gentlemen, is called a callback yeah, it's like a family guy cutaway don't, don't, don't, you don't start, don't you fucking start, because that is literally what. That is the best, that is how I describe my brain. And someone asked me so what's it so like? What's it like up there, because you've watched episode of family guy. It's like an episode. It's like no, you know, they're cutaways. He goes yeah, it's just non-stop. It's a master cut of cutaways every second of every day.

Speaker 4 13:38

It just doesn't stop yeah it's like if chris nolan wrote an episode of family guy. So it's like if Chris Nolan wrote an episode of Family Guy. So it's like Inception, but Family Guy shenanigans. Oh God, there's cutaways in cutaways.

Speaker 2 13:51

I feel like my brain is like if Five Nights at Freddy's was a PowerPoint. That's how my brain works. There's like jump scares, and it was being told by.

Speaker 4 13:59

like Grimace, I feel Grimace.

Speaker 3 14:03

Grimace explaining Five Nights at Freddy's.

Speaker 2 14:06

It's Grimace explaining Five Nights at Freddy's, I think that's.

Speaker 1 14:11

Oh my god, that's right, that was Grimace.

Speaker 4 14:13

That's right, that is Grimace's voice. I always call that voice the spouse voice.

Speaker 2 14:23

It's so right.

Speaker 4 14:23

It's whenever someone does, that's the spouse voice. It's so right it's. Whenever someone does, that's the spouse voice.

Speaker 2 14:28

Angie has heard me do that to Austin firsthand. Shout out to my husband, austin. She's heard my malicious compliance. She's heard my customer service voice with him. She's heard me mock him openly to his face. She has a good, full understanding of how my marriage works.

Speaker 3 14:45

My favorite is the malicious compliance that's hands down my favorite.

Speaker 4 14:51

Oh my god, that's a racehorse name right there.

Speaker 2 14:54

Malicious compliance. Coming out of the back door, it says malicious compliance.

Speaker 3 14:58

I would love nothing better than to get you a beer Beer. Yeah, hey why don't I?

Speaker 2 15:05

do that for you. Right now, in fact, it's like my mouth is smiling, but my eyes are dead too. That's one thing Angie doesn't get to see is my lifeless eyes, my mouth is all black like a doll's eyes. Like a doll's eyes. Yeah, exactly yeah exactly.

Speaker 4 15:26

My mouth is smiling, but my eyes are dead and my heart is full of rage.

Speaker 3 15:32

Steeping with quiet resentment. My other favorite game to play is she will say something totally random and I have to figure out if she's talking to the husband, the kid or the dog.

Speaker 2 15:49

What? Talking to the husband, the kid or the dog what? I think the most famous one was something along the lines of if you keep sitting with your bare ass on the concrete like that, you're gonna get a hemorrhoid. What? Is the weirdest con condiment combination with like what they dip the condiment in that you've ever seen in your life, and I'll start with mine.

Speaker 2 16:06

I have a friend that she likes to mix ranch and a1 and dip steak in it and that is a1 dip steak surprisingly good, but it turns my stomach to look at it because it looks great I see the flavors.

Service Dogs and Special Bonds

Speaker 4 16:21

I see the flavors working together. I do, um, I think I'm going to go ahead and be that guy. If the steak is good, it doesn't need a condiment.

Speaker 1 16:31

S&p is all I need. Yeah, same way.

Speaker 4 16:33

That's it. So if you're dipping it in anything, even if you're using A1 sauce, I'm going to judge you. Oh man, but I can see the flavors working. I have one friend who will put criminal amounts of ketchup on his pepperoni pizza.

Speaker 3 16:52

My God.

Speaker 4 16:54

Kyle Pepperoni pizza. What the fuck? It's only pepperoni pizza and it could be from Domino's, it could be from Pizza Hut, it could be from any local joint. It is specifically pepperoni pizza. He will literally cover the whole thing in ketchup.

Speaker 2 17:10

The whole thing, in ketchup Fucking hell. Imagine his breath.

Speaker 4 17:18

Remember the friend I told you the embodiment of the word imagination. It's that friend.

Speaker 3 17:22

Oh okay, oh wow, All right.

Speaker 4 17:28

I mean Shoutouts to Brosa.

Speaker 2 17:30

It's giving Julian from Big Daddy 30 packets of ketchup 30 packets of ketchup. He can't eat pizza unless it tastes like a Lunchables pizza. Angie, I know you're a little freak about food. What weird condiment information are you hiding from me?

Speaker 3 17:53

I was just sitting here thinking I don't think I have a weird combo. Wow, that's shocking to me. Oh, you know what? This is something new that I discovered. It's really good is to put so you can get, you know, frank's red hot, so you can get it in powder form yeah, it's so fucking good so you put that on a cucumber.

Speaker 4 18:19

Oh, so good that sounds disgusting no thanks, frank's red hot on a cucumber?

Speaker 2 18:26

that sounds fucking delicious why do I want a spicy cucumber? You told me that right now but it's so good?

Speaker 3 18:34

no, it's, it's, it works so good. I think the the only other like maybe weird food combo I do is I do like pickles on a grilled cheese what in the hell?

Speaker 4 18:48

what do you mean? What in the hell that's like. That's like the nectar of the gods there. All right, we're talking grilled cheese. We're crossing to the grilled cheese territory I have my head in my hands.

Speaker 3 18:58

Go ahead all right do you just crack your knuckles?

Speaker 2 19:03

He did. I'm fucking rolling up his sleeves, cracking his knuckles. He spit on the floor for a second. He's going to point his toe before he throws this one at us.

Speaker 4 19:15

Hell yeah, a very near and dear friend of mine wants a grilled cheese food truck.

Speaker 3 19:20

Oh, we have one of those. It's called the Cheese Melt. I think there's like probably 30 different grilled cheese sandwiches, everything you could possibly think of. It's a classic fucking grilled cheese Really good melty cheese. You have to do it very quick as soon as you take it off the pan, open it up, put some pickles on it close it.

Speaker 4 19:48

Dude, you got to put the as you're prepping the bread, you got to butter the bread. Yes, butter Depends on what you're putting on it, whether I use butter or mayo.

Speaker 3 19:56

But oh, not mayo.

Speaker 4 19:59

You butter the bread.

Speaker 3 20:00

Yeah.

Speaker 4 20:00

Bread down Cheese on, put the pickles on it. Yeah, bread down Cheese on, put the pickles on it. Cheese on top of that. But the other one on top of that.

Speaker 3 20:06

But then they get warm. Nobody likes a warm pickle.

Speaker 4 20:09

On a grilled cheese? You fucking do no.

Speaker 3 20:13

No, you put it on after, but you have to do it very quick so it remelts and kind of encapsulates it and it's still cool when you bite into it.

Speaker 4 20:24

That's an absolute no, that's just no.

Speaker 2 20:28

I don't like the sense of urgency you've given me about the pickles on the grilled cheese. It's giving me like Chef Ramsay's vibe, like you fucking idiot, you donut, you fucking-.

Speaker 4 20:41

What are you? I'm an idiot sandwich. You're goddamn right, you are. I'm picturing you making a grilled cheese, but then like hastily, like you're diffusing a bomb in a fucking James.

Speaker 1 20:49

Bond movie.

Speaker 3 20:50

It is.

Speaker 4 20:51

Rip a grilled cheese open and throw some pickles on there.

Speaker 2 20:56

She's holding the pickles like defibrillator pads. Claire, stay with me, I'm with you. Alright, close him up up.

Speaker 3 21:06

I've done all I could do put him on the counter to convalesce, all right, so, uh, what is your favorite or snack? My favorite or snack or as in you are, you are without money. P-o-o-r p-o-o-r.

Speaker 4 21:28

Yeah, I heard horse snack also and I was like titties and beer define what a horse snack is, a snack that makes you feel like a dirty little mistress like I shouldn't be eating this, but I'm gonna. What is a horse snack?

Speaker 2 21:39

for me. Okay, so this is my thing. This is something I like. I could god, I just tear through this. But I like to get cheddar broccoli soup in the can, the condensed kind, and I just dip tortilla chips in that. I don't want to heat it up.

Speaker 4 21:51

I should straight up scoop it out of the can oh god becca I see you huddled in the kitchen like a baba yaga things that I've ever learned about you.

Speaker 2 22:07

That might be the one thing that tests our friendship, I see you huddled in the kitchen like a Baba Yaga Things that I've ever learned about you. That might be the one thing that tests our friendship.

Speaker 3 22:15

I'm like Smeagol and his fish in my little cave with my chips in can. Oh my god.

Speaker 4 22:18

I'm telling you, I just, oh god, I see you. I'm telling you, just like a little fucking, like Like a woodland witch just huddled over in your kitchen, just like snarling and just like horking tortilla chips. They're like off-brand tortilla chips also at the bottom of the bag where, like none of them are together, it's just like the shards.

Speaker 2 22:36

So you'd have like a handful of like little ones. I'm one of the feral children from that movie, mama.

Speaker 1 22:46

I just perched on the back of a kitchen chair with the.

Speaker 3 22:51

I was kind of. I was kind of thinking of like you know, like saltines with cheese in the microwave to make like some kind of you know? Oh yeah, you name it or uh nachos but, here we are with the campbell soup and just man, I wish I hadn't said shit.

Speaker 2 23:10

I should have just kept that in my fucking self. Yeah, yeah you should have, you absolutely should have I won't buy it if it's not the kind where you can just like stick your finger in the little loop and rip the top off the can either, like I don't want to get a can open around for this shit, he's a k-bar

Speaker 2 23:27

like godzilla he's a k-bar all right, now that I've unzipped myself, I'll let you guys make fun of me. What poor snacks do you guys eat with your greedy little mouths? Literally all of them, because like, yeah, I was like specific okay.

Speaker 4 23:41

So yeah, there was the poor nachos you take the tortillas and just eat with your green little mouths Literally all of them, because like yeah.

Speaker 1 23:46

Specific.

Speaker 4 23:47

Okay, so yeah, there was the poor nachos. You'd take the tortillas and you'd just throw cheese on them and throw them in the microwave for X amount of seconds Poor nachos. Yep, so there was those. Yeah, so there was that. Oh god. What else was there? Oh god, another one. Now hold on, we'll talk about that in a minute. There was just toast, just saltines, just saltines, just a sleeve of saltines. Yeah, that takes me back.

Speaker 2 24:22

I had a friend who would stick a hot dog into her bottle of barbecue sauce and then squirt it out. It would be coated in barbecue sauce the way I found out that she was. Somebody who does this is I went to squeeze I'm sorry the mental image is getting me. I went to squeeze some barbecue sauce out onto my plate and it's like hot dog just slunk out.

Speaker 4 24:57

You know what you want to know. What instantly came to mind when you said that what fellowship of the ring when they're making an Uruk-hai.

Speaker 2 25:05

There's just that slunk of body that comes out of that hole Like it was birthed.

Speaker 3 25:16

Oh, that makes me.

Speaker 1 25:19

Oh, hang on, I'm going to throw up All for a joke.

Speaker 2 25:21

I don't to throw up All for a joke.

Speaker 1 25:25

I don't know why you made me think of that.

Speaker 4 25:27

That is the worst word ever. I hate that word so much.

Speaker 2 25:32

Moist. Oh, my eyes are watering in my mouth. What's your grossest?

Speaker 3 25:37

snack. I don't have any gross snack. I mean, Becky, you know the one that you don't have any gross snacks. I mean, I mean, Becky, you know the one that you don't like.

Speaker 2 25:48

Yeah, such an animal. Well, little bull rat, it's a raw vegetable okay.

Speaker 4 25:58

Oh, the potato right.

Speaker 3 26:00

Yeah.

Speaker 4 26:02

You're absolutely off your nut with that one man.

Condiment Crimes and Food Confessions

Speaker 2 26:04

It's just like chunks off a tater man. It really the mental image disturbs me. I know she's told me that she peels it, but I picture it like peel and all Like I don't know why it's really gross to me, congratulations.

Speaker 4 26:19

I now see the two of you just huddled, like two of the three fates from hercules, just huddled over with a fucking can of campbell's broccoli cheddars and, like I said, it's the little shards. So like you're getting, like you're getting your little fingies in there, so you're like you're like eating like your fingertips too, while you're doing it and I'll just see angie just dragging a sack of potatoes with her.

Speaker 3 26:44

Just no, no, no, no god damn dog with a milk potato, with a salt shaker.

Speaker 2 26:48

That's all you need potato and a salt shaker and let me get a potato and a salt shaker. My god I like corn raw. See, I think that's weird. It gets in your teeth. Really bad, I will will say, but it's really good.

Speaker 4 27:02

Goddammit, Angie, don't you dare Talk you can't tell anyone anything about eating a raw fruit or vegetable. Now you just can't.

Speaker 2 27:10

I know right, like this is fucking corn on the cob. At least I don't have to like peel it or anything, I just husk it.

Speaker 4 27:17

It's literally peeling it. You know, what it's, literally peeling it. You know what I'm feeling, kyle.

Speaker 2 27:23

Thank you, thank you so much. Thank you so much for calling me out because I felt filthy trying to get that under the radar. You're literally feeling what the fuck? You're looking a hypocrite.

Speaker 4 27:36

Let me shut my fat mouth go shove some more brown cheddar soup in it.

Speaker 2 27:42

Call it a day head back pez dispenser mode. I've just got the open can above my head and it's slowly sloughing out. It's just a cylindrical mass that pops off my forehead like cranberry sauce it has oh yeah, 100%. It's just like cheesy broccoli cranberry sauce, essentially Like you can see the ridges of the can in it.

Speaker 4 28:09

That's absolutely grotesque, absolutely grotesque.

Speaker 2 28:12

I was the only one that put myself out there with my poor people's snack and I was shamed for it. You guys are putting your pickles on grilled cheese like it's the most regular thing in the world.

Speaker 4 28:22

It is regular, sorry you should try it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 28:25

You like pickles and you like grilled cheese. They're very good together, yeah.

Speaker 4 28:29

Like lamb and tuna fish.

Speaker 2 28:32

We do cryptid episodes. I end up feeling like a freak. We do murder episodes I feel like a freak. We do movie episodes I feel like a freak. We do normal everyday life episodes. I feel like a freak. I'm starting to think I'm just a freak.

Speaker 4 28:45

You're just starting.

Speaker 2 28:46

Yeah, it's hit me. It's hit me really hard. All of a sudden I'm second guessing a lot of my life choices. Maybe I am a Wendigo.

Speaker 4 28:54

Yeah, maybe you are.

Speaker 3 28:56

What's the grossest thing you've ever eaten. Grossest thing you've ever eaten. Okay, are we allowed to?

Speaker 4 29:04

eaten. Gross thing about eating Okay Food-wise.

Speaker 3 29:05

Oh, we mean actual food, never mind, yeah, yeah, that's why I said food-wise.

Speaker 4 29:08

Okay, food-wise, you know what that was, you know what? Yeah, now we're going to bring it back here, the thing that I was just like oh no, we'll talk about that in a minute. I knew this was going to come up. My father does not do much cooking, if any, so, like my dad worked first shift, my mom worked second shift and so mom always had like dinner ready and like left the instructions to like put in oven at this time, at this temp, blah, blah, blah, right. And if it was ever left that my dad had to come up with something somehow he had, this was the ace up his sleeve every time Tuna casserole.

Speaker 2 29:47

I love tuna casserole.

Speaker 4 29:48

You do, but not my father's.

Speaker 2 29:52

I would be grateful for a plate of your father's tuna casserole first of all.

Speaker 4 29:55

No, you would not. It is a bag of overcooked egg noodles, two cans of Campbell's who knows, yeah, maybe with this Campbell's soup thing here Two cans of cream of mushroom soup and one can of tuna, and you just mix that up and then you're schlocking in a bowl, throwing it in front of you. Oh, that sounds so good it is.

Speaker 2 30:15

That sounds like good home cooking right there. I would be so grateful A meal I didn't have to cook. Thank you, Mr Kyle. So grateful a meal I didn't have to cook.

Speaker 3 30:24

Thank you, mr kyle.

Speaker 2 30:25

No, thank you, no thanks like I will be in the corner with saltines and a potato oh yeah, saltines, at least this one like, on one hand, I'm a really, really picky eater like I have safe foods, that I have unsafe foods that, like I just absolutely cannot eat. But then, then again, I'm somebody that has eaten like fried crickets, I've eaten rocky mountain oysters. Like I've eaten calamari, I've eaten raw fish.

Speaker 2 30:49

Like I'm pretty adventurous, oh uh. There's like a thing where when you're, when you're hunting, where you like, you like, you take a bite out of the heart. But that only happened one time and, uh, you know, it's classic, everybody does it. Yeah, so I'm a picky eater, but like I'm also an adventurous eater, I'll put just about anything in my mouth once.

Speaker 4 31:08

A-o, a-o but uh, yeah, no, it makes you sound ungrateful, don't come around. I love, I love, uh, I love my father. He did his best cooking. My dad's still alive, by the way, that's not saying that my dad's dead. He did his best cooking for us on those nights. On those nights he would do his best so that we wouldn't go hungry. But it was just God. And not only that, but I hate mushrooms too. I fucking hate mushrooms.

Speaker 1 31:33

Oh yeah, I love mushrooms, so it was like oh, mushrooms are yuck.

Speaker 4 31:39

I hate them. I absolutely hate them. Guys, I love mushrooms. We're also talking about the 90s too, so it was like okay, you have two options you either eat dinner or you fuck off to bed. So well, yeah that was her favorite.

Speaker 2 31:55

They loved making us not have dinner, didn't they?

Speaker 4 31:58

So like they're, like it's your dinner, you go to bed. Thank Christ, I have an option not to eat this fucking tuna casserole.

Speaker 2 32:06

I have an option I would rather eat hunger.

Speaker 4 32:09

I would rather eat hunger right now.

Speaker 2 32:11

I'm like mother, please. I'm 11 years old with depression. I want to go to bed, mother please.

Speaker 4 32:15

I'm 32 with depression. I want to go to bed, but no oh God, no, it's just, oh fuck. I just yeah, like it's one thing. It was like you didn't even hit it, like you can't even call it a casserole. It was just like a fuck it pot, because like a casserole at least you put like breadcrumbs and you bake it in a fucking dish. It was just no, you just mix it all in a pot and just say there, you you go?

Speaker 2 32:41

Do you guys still eat Hamburger? Helper.

Speaker 4 32:43

Absolutely.

Speaker 2 32:44

Yes, it's still a regular in my home A million percent Stroganoff.

Speaker 4 32:48

That's the best I love the Stroganoff.

Speaker 2 32:49

I also just like the regular beef one.

Speaker 4 32:51

I think we got the lasagna one right now.

Speaker 2 32:53

I don't like the lasagna. One's too sweet for me.

Speaker 4 32:55

Yeah, yeah, I'm not a I will hunt you down.

Speaker 2 33:06

First of all, I don't like red sauce much to begin with. Second of all, I don't like sweet I don't like sweet with dinner, that much. I'm not a real sweet and savory person together.

Speaker 4 33:17

Yeah, no, no, you're right. The hamburger helper, beef shogunate, is the shit.

Speaker 2 33:21

It is. Yeah, no, you're right, the hamburger helper, beef shogunate, is the shit it is yeah. Do you?

Speaker 4 33:27

guys remember Shake and Bake.

Speaker 3 33:28

Unfortunately, it's Shake and Bake and I helped, and I helped.

Speaker 2 33:35

I always think of Charlie's Angels, where he's like I'll shake you like, like smooth. I was thinking Talladega.

Speaker 4 33:41

Nights with Shake and Bake, oh yeah. Talladega Nights, yeah I thought Shake and Bake Steel. You just scared the holy shit out of me, dude.

Speaker 2 33:49

Oh, Steel's cameo Steel knew. Like I was in an episode, I'm just going to make my little appearance.

Speaker 4 33:55

Yes, he's like. Yes, I have been summoned.

Speaker 1 33:58

Hello, it is high. How are you?

Speaker 4 34:00

girl Shake and bake was just orange dyed salt, it was so it was. That was another one I had growing up. I just yeah now, if I never had another shake and bake in my entire life. At the same time, though, if I ever, you know, if I oh excuse me, if I'm high as a kite and I have a seizure, I have no idea. I have no idea what that was.

Speaker 2 34:21

Are you having a seizure now? I am?

Speaker 4 34:24

having a seizure now.

Speaker 2 34:25

Those little hiccup burps. That kind of popped out of nowhere Anyhow, I was going to crack a joke, but now it's gone. You're supposed to stop everybody in their tracks. I'm sorry, spam. Do you guys like spam? Would you still eat a spam sandwich?

Speaker 4 34:41

Like email phone calls.

Speaker 2 34:42

Or the canned meat, the stuff posing as meat in the can oh yeah, no, no, you know that they say that spam is the closest thing to human meat. Maybe that's why I like it so much.

Speaker 3 34:51

I like spam you are a wendigo.

Speaker 2 34:53

We're the god like a fried spam sandwich so good. Spam with eggs so good, so good.

Speaker 4 34:59

I love spam yeah but I also feel like there's like a million other things to eat before we eat the emergency food. So like why not eat that stuff first, before the emergency?

Speaker 3 35:08

food, you know. Do you like Vienna's sausages too? Yeah Ugh.

Speaker 2 35:13

Yeah, they're good Ugh.

Speaker 3 35:15

They're cute. What about potted meat?

Speaker 2 35:17

I don't like potted meat. That's like somebody chewed up my spam for me. I don't need that, thank you.

Speaker 3 35:24

Oh God Makes me want to gag. I have teeth. I'm like a gag-a-maggot.

Speaker 2 35:30

A gag-a-maggot for real. You know what in a can really grosses me out? It's corned beef and hash, I don't know what the fuck that stuff is, but it just Corned beef and hash is. But just looking in the can from a can.

Speaker 4 35:42

That's horrible, that's just horrible.

Speaker 2 35:45

I swear. We always have at least one can of that shit in my pantry and nobody ever eats it.

Speaker 3 35:49

That's your corned beef hash corned beef in gravy on toast just really good corned beef period together, laura and none of that white gravy either. It has to be brown gravy. Are we good Period? Corned beef Period Together, laura, yeah, and none of that white gravy either.

Speaker 2 36:06

It has to be brown gravy. Why do you say what?

Speaker 4 36:09

We don't want to know that white gravy around here.

Speaker 2 36:13

I'm glad you oh God, I'm glad you picked up on that too, kyle, that was just you ripping with resentment.

Speaker 4 36:21

That white, that was or you were.

Speaker 3 36:24

I was like jesus oh, I hate white gravy it and everyone is like oh, that's like that's southern gravy. No, the fuck, it's not southern gravy. White gravy is trash. Oh my god. Okay, what do you?

Speaker 2 36:39

mean steak.

Speaker 3 36:41

Gravy, but it's like a brown gravy.

Speaker 4 36:44

Get the actual fuck out of here. You get the fuck. No, it is not white.

Speaker 3 36:48

White gravy is terrible Woman, oh my god Woman.

Speaker 2 36:52

What color is it? How is the gravy on your chicken fried steak? Like brown, like the mashed potato gravy. You're putting that on your chicken fried steak Like beef gravy.

Speaker 4 37:01

You're putting beef gravy on your chicken fried steak. No, it's not beef gravy.

Speaker 3 37:04

It's a brown gravy.

Speaker 4 37:06

Made from beef stock correct.

Speaker 3 37:07

No, it's not. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 37:11

Okay, read me the recipe, Do I?

Speaker 3 37:12

need to explain this to you.

Speaker 4 37:16

Yeah, you do, you fucking do, because no other gravy besides white gravy goes on. A fucking chicken fried steak with my goddamn biscuits in the fucking morning. Okay.

Speaker 3 37:26

So everything starts with bacon grease, right? So you put your bacon grease in your cast iron skillet and then you put your flour in. Yeah, and then you swirl that around until the flour gets like a burnt color to it. You make a roux, yeah, and it it has to be like a dark brown. So you start to make a dark milk into it and it becomes like a like a brownish gravy so you burn your gravy is what you're saying.

Speaker 4 38:04

You burn your gravy, you burn your gravy, so you put burnt gravy. You put burnt gravy on it.

Speaker 2 38:12

It's not burnt. Yeah, you do, it's just white gravy.

Speaker 3 38:18

It's not white gravy, no the. So what makes it?

Speaker 2 38:25

white gravy is no the caramelization.

Speaker 3 38:27

I'll call it the caramelization.

Speaker 4 38:29

The caramelization.

Speaker 2 38:32

Okay, angie, you are right.

Speaker 3 38:35

It adds an extra flavor. Y'all just don't understand the southern way. We're just idiots.

Speaker 2 38:41

We're just fucking dumbasses.

Speaker 3 38:43

we don't know shit about gravy, not like you do these days you're in the trenches one of these days, when we're on tour, I will make you all some southern proper southern gravy proper southern gravy do you?

Speaker 2 38:56

eat biscuits and gravy. Yeah, what kind of gravy do you use?

Speaker 3 38:59

the one one that I just described Burnt. No, it's not burnt. It's not burnt because you can burn it. You can take it too far to the dark side.

Speaker 2 39:10

What's the darkest gravy that's passable.

Speaker 4 39:15

The kind that you make. If you're making a gumbo, you make a dark brew for it.

Speaker 2 39:22

Gravy prejudice.

Speaker 4 39:25

That's another racehorse name. Culinary biases.

Speaker 3 39:30

You had a stance to not yuck somebody else's yum.

Speaker 4 39:35

Yeah, sexually, but what you're talking about is fucking heresy.

Speaker 1 39:39

There's a difference, it goes against God.

Speaker 2 39:43

It goes against God. Every timeall undercooks their gravy. An angel cries.

Speaker 3 39:50

Yeah, I cry, angela northerners angel listen city folk. Northerners okay, I am not from the north I moved to the north.

Speaker 2 39:58

I grew up. I am not from the North. I moved to the North. I grew up in the taint of America, just as you, the taint. I know about white gravy, or as you call it, brown gravy. It's not.

Speaker 3 40:11

There is white gravy and then there's like a brown gravy. They're two different species of gravy, Two different species of gravy.

Speaker 2 40:18

Okay, babe, you're just changing the fat you're using in the gravy. That's all you're doing. You're just changing the fat you're using in the gravy, that's all you're doing. You're still making white gravy, you're just using a different fat.

Speaker 3 40:26

No, it's not white. It is not white, though it's not white.

Speaker 4 40:30

She's toasting it more. You are making the same exact gravy that we are.

Speaker 3 40:36

It tastes completely different though.

Speaker 4 40:38

Yeah, you're just toasting it more.

Speaker 3 40:40

I'm telling you, there's a distinct difference.

Speaker 4 40:42

No, for sure there is oh and yeah. I'm definitely fuck. I am the North you shouldn't be. I was in the Northeast and then I went even farther North when I moved.

Speaker 2 40:52

He's like you know what? This isn't North enough. Meet more North.

Speaker 4 40:55

Just a little bit more bud.

Speaker 2 41:00

Holy smokes, bud Holy smokes.

Speaker 3 41:02

I would not have done that brother, I would not have done that.

Speaker 2 41:06

I love how Brooke is with us in spirit, even if she can't be here tonight. I hope her day goes well. All right, I have a question for you guys.

Speaker 4 41:17

Oh, I definitely have an answer.

Speaker 2 41:18

What is your dream? Podcast episode. My dream podcast episode yeah.

Speaker 4 41:25

Oh.

Speaker 2 41:25

You could sit down and talk about anything for the entire podcast.

Speaker 4 41:29

The differences of gravies.

Speaker 2 41:31

I've already done that. No, I mean like a deep dive. Oh, we haven't gone deep enough, okay.

Speaker 4 41:36

Yeah, deeper.

Speaker 2 41:39

I could get you a good cornstarch slurry going Cornstarch slurry.

Speaker 4 41:43

No see, that's where you're already fucking up. Don't you dare go putting cornstarch in my goddamn gravy. It's primarily news. I'll be honest with you.

Speaker 2 41:51

I don't cook with love. I'll tell you that, first and foremost, I don't cook with love, I cook with spite.

Speaker 4 41:58

It's malice and knowledge. That's the only thing that works. And, yeah, it's malice and knowledge.

Speaker 2 42:01

That's the only thing that works, and I'm like pissed off at the spices for some reason, like I'm yelling and throwing them back in the drawer when I'm done. Fucking bitch ass paprika. God damn chili powder. It never wants to go back where it goes. I get so angry in the kitchen. I really want nobody around me. I'm never going to be one of those people that's like oh, it's thanksgiving, everybody, come help me cook in the kitchen. I'll be like get the fuck out or I am jesus christ, where did you practice culinary?

Speaker 4 42:30

because that's literally anyone I've ever known who, like, actually cooks. I was.

Speaker 2 42:36

I was raised in one of those kitchens where things are like flying around and you're like ducking. I'm pretty much always wearing a saucepan on my head for protection. Oh, I'm doing it because I'm drunk have you ever gotten drunk and like did the whole lampshade on your head thing?

Speaker 4 42:56

no, not the lampshade austin did that once almost everything else else. Let's see, Okay, there we go. Funny things you've done while drunk Like actual funny things.

Speaker 2 43:07

Okay, so I'm really bad about being a little instigator when I'm getting drunk, and my big thing is always trying to convince somebody else that they look like they would be really good at doing a cartwheel, Like talking them into doing the cartwheel and somebody always ends up getting hurt.

Speaker 4 43:23

Okay, so you turn into Loki when you drink Done.

Speaker 2 43:26

I do, I do, I become a little trickster. I'm a trickster spirit. Fair, oh, I'm always like you know you should climb that. We should see who can run the fastest.

Speaker 4 43:38

Like oh, let's go play Red Rover. Because I'm the guy who's always like absolutely.

Speaker 2 43:44

Yeah, see, you'd be a dream to be drunk around like I could get you to do? You have no idea how right you are like you'll think we're just like gonna hang out, have a couple beers, maybe watch a movie.

Speaker 4 43:53

I'm gonna have you building a tree house in 45 minutes, just you wait that's what's funny, is I'm gonna do that sober and then we're gonna to play in it while we're drunk.

Speaker 2 44:04

What would be our first activity in our drunk treehouse? We're only allowed to be drunk in the treehouse. We can't be sober in the treehouse, okay.

Speaker 4 44:13

It's going to be one of two things it's either going to be Chinese checkers, or All right, I'm already leaping to my death. Or.

Speaker 2 44:21

Miss me with that.

Speaker 4 44:26

Lord only knows what the we just you just got. You got to follow the vibe man. You don't know. We're gonna be fighting dragons. Are we gonna be ninjas? Are we gonna be ninja dragons? Are we gonna make a souffle?

Drunken Treehouse Rules

Speaker 2 44:32

I don't fucking know I'm picturing like the kids in stand by me that are just like up in their treehouse playing cards and smoking.

Speaker 1 44:41

Yeah but for us we're just drinking.

Speaker 4 44:45

We're not kids, we're in our fucking 30s.

Speaker 2 44:47

We're throwing the empties out the window. That's the real Black Curtain Club. It sounds prestigious but it's literally just treehouse. We go and get drunk in.

Speaker 4 44:56

Okay, where my brain went immediately like a Family Guy cutaway scene. We're just up in the treehouse. You say you were just throwing the empties out the window, but when really it's like Schindler's List. I'm just like stretching out and I'm just like yeeting them at people. I'm looking for them. I'm waiting for these bastards to cross the lady with the frame of their baby.

Speaker 2 45:13

I'm going for that baby Wham, the bricks at Home Alone 2.

Speaker 1 45:18

Yes yes, hey, idiot actually, you know, it's funny.

Speaker 4 45:25

I think I know the same people or I heard of the same people or people like that, whatever one that they thought was really funny was a house party that was across town. They left and they were wildly intoxicated and it was like every 20 to 30 feet they had to pee. So half the town by the law of dog they own, half the town that they grew up in by the law of dog, everything the piss touches is mine everything I have pissed on is now mine um if you, if you name a few more like noteworthy locations, they could triangulate you like I said, it wasn't me, it was people I have heard of.

Speaker 2 46:23

If you enter the treehouse sober, you will be put to death.

Speaker 1 46:26

That's our only rule.

Speaker 2 46:27

It's pretty strict, but everything else we're pretty loose and juicy about.

Speaker 4 46:30

No, no, no, if you leave the treehouse sober, you will be put to death.

Speaker 2 46:37

Yeah, because then you can't be trusted. What the fuck have you been doing up here? You are sober right now. I don't trust you. Wait, okay, this touches on something else. Do you guys also get suspicious of sober people when you're drunker than them, like I, stop trusting people.

Speaker 4 46:58

I get leery of sober people in general.

Speaker 2 47:02

Do you ever think that people are pretending to be sober when you're really, really drunk?

Speaker 4 47:07

Okay, secret time. I think people are pretending to be drunk when they're not as drunk as me, like they're pretending to be drunker.

Speaker 2 47:14

Well, they're trying to beat you, they're trying to make it a contest.

Speaker 4 47:17

Yeah, exactly, but the thing is, that's how I know that they are more drunk than me, because they've lost sight of it, because the thing is to be the most so, to consume the most but be the most sober. Is that your goal? That's, the goal is to like consume so much but still like kind of function how you win drunk that's how you win drunk you just come a little circle.

Speaker 3 47:39

Yeah, exactly, you drink yourself into sobriety.

Speaker 4 47:43

I think they call that death and but yeah, Drink yourself into sobriety.

Speaker 2 47:48

Have you ever okay, have you ever been drunk for multiple days in a row?

Speaker 4 47:52

Yeah, that's just life, kyle.

Speaker 2 47:55

I was going to slip this in. I think I was drunk for like a week straight once, just nonstop. I didn't sleep the whole time. I was wide awake, just non-stop. I didn't sleep the whole time, I was wide awake. I have insomnia anyway, so it was like me drinking insomnia. They lined up perfectly. I was a fucking animal. I was at a music festival, so it was like acceptable behavior. I wasn't going out and being rowdy at a Walgreens or anything like that.

Speaker 2 48:14

I was surrounded by other people who were out of their minds. As far as environments go, it was the one to be a drunk for a week straight in. I got up to some shenanigans there, man Woo.

Speaker 4 48:28

That's a music festival. So it's like I feel like you can get to some shenanigans and some drunk bullshit, bullfuckery, even if you're sober, so like the fact that you said like doing all that and like it's like fucking around in a walgreens.

Speaker 2 48:47

You spoke to my soul directly there well, that's, that's your style of being drunk as you go, be rowdy to walgreens no, it's like I said you just you gotta follow the vibe.

Speaker 4 48:56

Most times it leads you it. Sometimes it leads you to a walgreens. You know that night austin and I.

Speaker 2 49:04

That night Austin and I got engaged. We had gone to his Uncle Guy's house. Shout out to Uncle Guy he has the most fun house to get drunk at.

Speaker 4 49:12

He has an uncle named Guy. We went to this Uncle Guy that we have Uncle you can just say Uncle.

Speaker 2 49:18

No, his name is Guy. Shout out, guy. He believes in Bigfoot. Yeah, he knows everything about the Alamo it's great for us to get drunk with. Anyway, we got smashed drunk Somehow. Austin and I ended up engaged this night and wandering around at the Walmart where we worked telling everybody we got engaged, nice, nice, that one goes down in history, nice. I'm really bad about throwing up on my feet when I get drunk throwing up on like, like you.

Speaker 4 49:47

Like, you're standing and you throw up, or you throw up and it lands on your feet it lands on my feet okay, that's like I get really bad. I get my feet out of the way oh well, because if you're standing, if you go to do that, you're eating shit dude well, I'm like okay, that's another thing about me.

Speaker 2 50:03

I'm determined to stand when I'm throwing up. I don't know what it is, but I need to be standing. I need to have my hands on my knees. That's how I gotta do it. I don't want to be on the ground, I want to be near the toilet. I gotta be standing.

Speaker 4 50:23

In case I have an enemy coming from behind.

Speaker 3 50:24

I've got to be ready to attack Can't be too vulnerable. I mean, maybe just pull in the flare and turn your head Gross, point blank. You have to have it in your back.

Speaker 2 50:31

That's how messed up my brain is. But imagine being the kind of person to attack somebody and be like oh they're throwing up Perfect time, but my brain is like that's what's going to happen.

Speaker 4 50:40

I mean, I never thought of that until now. If I could just make them throw up.

Speaker 2 50:43

This would be so much easier. They'll be incapacitated.

Speaker 3 50:49

All you have to do is tell them the story of the hot dog and the barbecue sauce. Hot dog and the barbecue sauce.

Speaker 2 50:57

Oh, that's like the noise it made, dude. It's like you were there.

Speaker 4 51:00

That worked for me, Spoiler alert I am the hot dog.

Speaker 2 51:04

Imagine squeezing barbecue sauce, not knowing that was something that could happen, not happening to you, I would take it in shock.

Speaker 4 51:12

I would be freaked out. I would never use barbecue sauce, ever again in my entire life.

Speaker 2 51:17

That makes you not trust a person anymore, Like I've eaten here before. What the fuck else are you doing with no pizza around?

Speaker 4 51:23

I wouldn't trust bottles anymore, ever.

Speaker 2 51:30

We're going to start doing concert rules, Like all liquids have to come in a transparent container, Like I need to be able to see where the food came from. Where's that safety seal?

Speaker 4 51:39

No, no, exactly no caps, no, nothing. I'm taking them from you all boxed face. Oh shit Cops are old. Yeah, so.

Speaker 2 51:51

Have you ever had a job where you had to wear a hard hat?

Speaker 4 51:53

I don't think it's technically classified as a hard hat.

Speaker 3 51:56

I was going to say it's pretty damn close.

Speaker 4 51:58

Pretty goddamn close.

Speaker 2 52:00

It's about as hard as a hat can get to be fair it's I mean it's not gonna stop a bullet, but it does.

Speaker 3 52:05

It is graded for ballistics no, I have not, if anyone cared no, angie, that would shock the hell out of me.

Speaker 2 52:13

If you had, I would be like what? What's the weirdest job you've ever had, angie?

Speaker 3 52:18

um, I mean working for attorneys. That's weird in its own right. Um, I would say I had to sell mattresses one weekend when I had was doing temp work.

Speaker 2 52:30

Oh, like, were you like at some kind of like show floor, or were you like?

Speaker 3 52:35

it was a really weird setup, like there was a mattress company set up in like a hotel lobby and it was. It was weird. It was really, really weird.

Speaker 2 52:49

It was a full day of absolutely nothing the weirdest job I ever had was it was surveys, like I literally called people with surveys to try to get them to fill out surveys. It turns out that company was actually like scamming a whole bunch of people, but it was. It was some very interesting surveys. It was about shit that nobody cared about, like oh, like local elections, or like litter in some specific park or like something going on like in the community and I would like environment, you know yeah yeah, like stupid shit, like that.

Speaker 2 53:19

Most of it was like politicians being like. This is for my campaign. We're trying to show people that, like the way they answer these questions, basically say like oh, you want to vote for me? Anyway, it was like the easiest 15 bucks an hour I ever made. I only worked there for like three days Speaking of call centers.

Speaker 3 53:36

have I told you what my new favorite pastime is when telemarketers call? Oh yeah, my new favorite pastime is when telemarketers call. I think I told you, Becca, but, Kyle, you haven't heard this. So I flip the script and I start talking about the podcast. I love it.

Speaker 4 53:57

I love it.

Speaker 3 53:58

This one guy. He started and he said he was calling from the treasury department at wells fargo. Now I have no accounts, never have had an account with wells fargo. And I said hey, before you start in asking me questions, I have a question for you. Do you listen to podcasts? And there was stunned silence. And finally he was like yeah. And I said well, I have a podcast recommendation for you. He's like oh yeah, what is it? So tell me, do you need to listen to a podcast called black curtain club? And again silence. I was like yeah, you know, we, uh, we actually have some listeners in india and we could always use a few more. Again, it's just silence. And then all of a sudden you heard the call disconnect, that's become my new favorite pastime

Speaker 2 54:56

this has inspired me, because I get a lot of like scam messages and my dms basically just because we post so much about the podcast. And now, whenever they do, I've just started being like so, have you actually listened to it? And I'll be like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, I'm trying to sell you on this thing. And I'm like, what's your favorite episode? And they'll just scramble to try to come up with a response and then I'll be like well, have you shared the link with any of your friends? And they'll be like well, I'm like trying to sell you the service to get you more followers and stuff. And I'm like, well, how many followers do you have? And they'll tell me like.

Speaker 2 55:28

Wow, you should share my link with every single one of your followers.

Speaker 1 55:32

That would help me so much six of them fucking it right.

Speaker 2 55:39

I wish that. I mean I don't wish that I could scam people for a living, but if my job was to just like call people like that on a daily basis, that would be a pretty easy work day, I feel. Although I have done a lot of call center work, it's not easy by any means. But if there were no stakes like that, I could do that. Yeah, cold calls can suck it yeah, I've done a lot of that too many.

Speaker 4 56:03

God, that's just the worst, because I think the reason why they're worse, because I fucking hate getting cold called about bullshit and then I feel like I'm just calling about bullshit. I'm not calling about bullshit, I'm calling about, like, bettering your life and you're getting like health and wellness and stuff like that, but still, yeah, you're gonna want it I've done everything from like debt collection to political surveys, to like doing insurance estimates over the phone, shit like that, like pretty much any the shit that I immediately hang up on you on got it yeah, yeah, yeah, I was all.

Speaker 2 56:35

I was all those people um, but my saving grace is I can get any idiot to have a conversation with me, like it's so easy Just something about the way I start a conversation, they dive in. You know, they're just like oh fuck, yeah, becca, tell me all about it. And I'm like well, okay, sir, well, so I mean yeah, that's why I think I gravitated toward those jobs a lot, because I'm just like I'm a good phone voice.

Weird Jobs and Telemarketer Tales

Speaker 4 57:01

I'm just like I'm a good phone voice. Well, you should let other people tell you that. But you know, wait a minute what's the base of this episode, which is having idiots talk.

Speaker 2 57:08

I can get any idiots to sit down and record a podcast with me. Long con the long con.

Speaker 4 57:16

I think the weirdest job I had was painting dildos.

Speaker 2 57:20

What Are you?

Speaker 1 57:20

serious.

Speaker 2 57:22

Kyle Wait what Get back here, kyle?

Speaker 3 57:28

Elaborate. Excuse me, just drop that and run away. We are not ending the episode on that. What Bye, kyle.

Speaker 2 57:41

You motherfucking what? What do Kyle you?

Speaker 4 57:43

motherfucking what? What do you want to know?

Speaker 2 57:45

Okay, Did you Were they like sent to you blank, or did you make them?

Speaker 4 57:50

No, I just, I just Okay, I don't know. I would just, I would just get like Like a sketch pad and some paint and I would paint pictures of dildos and then I would sell them and you would what with them. You don't want to know how many answers that question has.

Speaker 3 58:04

Did you sell them?

Speaker 4 58:05

Yeah, no, that's a lie. It was like a conveyor belt kind of thing. So it was literally just like unpainted schlongs. Just come down this conveyor belt and I would just grab it and just like dip it in some dye and just move it along. That is a job I would do, and just move it along.

Speaker 2 58:18

Wow, it seems like it would be very soothing, Like just the fact that it's it's not soothing. Oh well, nevermind then.

Speaker 4 58:28

For me personally. I absolutely hate mundane um jobs like that.

Speaker 2 58:35

You need a lot of stimulation. You've got a very busy brain my friend, you have no no, I do have no idea.

Speaker 1 58:41

I do have an idea, that brain, my friend, you have no idea.

Speaker 2 58:43

I do have an idea, that's why I just fucking said it.

Speaker 1 58:45

I wasn't kidding, I wasn't kidding.

Speaker 4 58:49

I go absolutely insane with jobs like that. For the record, I didn't have that job, all seriousness, hand it got. A friend of mine did have that job for like a week.

Speaker 1 58:58

He got fired.

Speaker 3 59:02

Was he still in the product?

Speaker 4 59:04

No, he couldn't take it seriously. He was like chasing his co-workers, like, oh, it's gonna get you, it's a real bad behavior. So the guy sitting next to him is like pay attention, and he's got it on his shoulder. He goes hey, tim, and dick in the face. He's like you can't get me.

Speaker 2 59:21

He's like, oh, he got fired him and dick in the face, like I love wiener humor he would take something from his buddy's tool bench.

Speaker 4 59:33

Like they had these little like workstations, like these actual like work benches oh, my god, like santa's elves, and it was all such toys. Santa's elves at the fuck factory it sounds like he would take something and like knock it off the guy's desk and he'd stand to grab it and he would like just take one and just like put it on his chair. So he sat back down oh my god, oh lord. He's like a week. He got fired because he couldn't take it seriously.

Speaker 3 1:00:09

They just made me laugh because the same thing, the same fucking thing I would do do you guys think that you could work at a sex shop?

Speaker 4 1:00:16

I don't know no, no, no, I couldn't work at one where I knew I'd know people. I just I couldn't, I just couldn't work at one where I knew I'd know people. I just couldn't, I just couldn't.

Speaker 2 1:00:25

The idea of having to like okay. So I've worked at the local gas station here in town so I already know what it's like to look people in the eye and know them as you're handing stuff over the counter. So I can only imagine seeing the mailman come in and buying a whole box of goodies.

Speaker 4 1:00:41

I would never be able to keep that to myself you know, because it's always like that one and it's gonna be like your second grade teacher that's gonna come in and is getting like a gimp suit and, like you know, just like shit. You don't need to know, my god yeah, 100.

Speaker 2 1:00:58

Like you know, you could order this online now, right like that's, that's the. That's the thing In this day and age people that still pound the pavement going to brick-and-mortar sex shops. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Speaker 4 1:01:12

They're going for the glory holes. That's all they're there for glory.

Speaker 2 1:01:15

They're going for the business that's going on in the back of sex shops as is best of all sex shops that we all know about.

Speaker 4 1:01:22

That was the uh. That was. That was my biggest favorite, because, like you, gotta go to one or multiple in one night, doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 1:01:29

Um, so it's like you're gonna run into somebody you're gonna run.

Speaker 2 1:01:35

This is what kyle does on a long weekend. I gotta go to every sex shop in town.

Speaker 4 1:01:39

You gotta see if you get the best deals. You know compare prices. They do price matching deals, you know compare prices.

Speaker 2 1:01:46

Do price matching you?

Speaker 3 1:01:47

know now. Oh price matching Say, yes, you got a coupon for that. I got a coupon.

Speaker 4 1:01:53

Yeah, buy one. Buy one, get one.

Speaker 3 1:02:00

Bogo dildos.

Speaker 4 1:02:01

Bogo dildos, bogo dildos, bogodildos, bo-go-dildos, bo-go-dildos bo-go-dildos.

Speaker 2 1:02:05

Bo-go-dildos Monday Monday Monday massive car clearance sales. I want there to be like a wacky inflatable arm guy out front.

Speaker 4 1:02:18

But it's not arms, he's waving around it's just a dick the wacky waving inflatable wang but anyway, yeah, that's like the biggest fear is that, like you're gonna run into someone's like ah fuck dude.

Speaker 2 1:02:37

Okay, here's what gets me is buying a pregnancy test at the dollar general here in town, because it's such a small town, even though I'm like a married woman, I'm an adult, it's like I'm just like it's perfectly acceptable for me to buy pregnancy tests, but it still like gets me in the back of my brain every time, especially because they're like behind the counter. I have to specifically look them in the eye and be like yo. Let me get a three pack of first responses, please, please.

Speaker 4 1:03:00

Yeah, yeah, no, it's yeah, this one. Oh, you know what? Yeah, this is bringing up a fun memory. This is why I'm afraid of Walgreens now. So you said that it's funny. With all the debauchery, kind of shit, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 1:03:12

It was like I love the way you fucking, the way you start to spin a yarn. Can I just say my favorite fucking thing in the world. You're so fucky with it.

Speaker 4 1:03:21

Like I said, that's just, that's just the way that my brain works, it's just no fucking further it just goes it's just in here, it's coming out there.

Speaker 2 1:03:29

There's no felt the direct line input output. All right, it's like 11 o'clock.

Speaker 4 1:03:38

I'm like I think I've graduated high school at this point.

Speaker 2 1:03:41

Oh, that's good. Okay, so you're an adult.

Speaker 4 1:03:44

Exactly so. I'm an adult and I'm getting a box of condoms. I'm heading to my girlfriend's house.

Speaker 2 1:03:50

Ooh, okay, rico Suave, let's go yeah there you go.

Speaker 4 1:03:53

And so in front of me is my third grade teacher. Oh, okay, so a little background on this guy teacher. Oh for, okay, it's a little background. This guy, this guy he was, he was like the cool teacher and it's this is something to do with the buying condoms and shit like that, whatever, but like he was, he was an awesome guy, he was. He was a really cool teacher, was a really good teacher. He'd like had guitars, he was like in bands and like he like sang and also the kind of fun shit. He's also kind of whatever. He's the shit. Fucking love that dude. But he's also like that prim and proper and like good, almost like a goody two-shoes, but he wasn't like on a high horse or whatever it was, but like the guy, definitely he, he. I bet you to this day he doesn't have a callus on his hand. He doesn't do manual labor. He hires someone, manuel, to do the labor kind of thing, manuel labor. You know, you know what I'm saying though.

Speaker 2 1:04:42

Yeah, okay, he's just like from that type of society.

Speaker 4 1:04:47

But really down there it's really nice. Also like I'm fun. So it's 11 o'clock at night. I'm there and I'm like, wow, this is kind of awkward. Andrew's like oh, my god, yeah. And there's that thing where that now there's just the awkward silence and where we both kind of at the same time just kind of glance down at like what each person's buying for whatever reason, because you're not like oh, because like you're being nosy, it's just you just kind of like, look away, so you're staring into the person's eyes, whatever. And we looked down and I didn't care about buying condoms anymore when I saw that he was buying plan b.

Speaker 2 1:05:12

So I was like all right oh damn, it's like the changing of the guard. They almost want to high five. They almost want to high-five each other.

Speaker 4 1:05:23

It was a fist bump. It was just the nod, the look, the stiffening of the lip. Nice, fist bump, take care. And he left. What a legend.

Speaker 4 1:05:31

It was funny as hell. It was funny as hell Because he was like a grown-as-fuck adult, like he was a grown man when he taught me. I hope so, but you know what I mean. But like he was like, yeah, he wasn't like the fresh out of, he wasn't like the fresh out of college teacher and he wasn't old, but I don't know, he's probably in his 30s at the time, like having family there, so like motherfucker was like he was probably. He was probably closer to 50 than he was 40 at this moment and I'm like what the the fuck? Good shit, that's my Walgreens story. Yep, yep, what the fuck do you think it was Like King of the Hill? That's a pretty damn okay show.

Speaker 2 1:06:21

No, honestly it is. I feel like it doesn't get enough credit because like it had to compete with the Simpsons and Family Guy and South Park. But King of the Hill was perfectly okay.

Speaker 4 1:06:30

I think it was and I think the reason why it didn't, you know, is because like the Simpsons and Family Guy, they have all that tomfoolery. But you know, it's all horseshit and unbelievable. It's cartoons, whatever. Like King of the Hill, like yeah, they always got into some shenanigans, but like he didn't just like accidentally fall into like the inheritance of, like a dinosaur helicopter, like no, like he just like oh, like it was all believable, actual shit, like that could happen, and then Family yard and shit, like all the shenanigans one of my favorite recurring bits is anytime like peter crashes into cleveland's house.

Speaker 4 1:07:10

No, no, no, no, the first time they did that bit after he got the show and they still do it and it's just the empty bathtub and then it crashes and he just goes. Oh yeah, that's right, Cleveland moved.

Speaker 2 1:07:24

Yeah, I also like. I really like it when Brian is a dog, all of a sudden, like something happens and he's like, and it's like my favorite.

Speaker 4 1:07:37

He's like driving his Prius and shit like that and like going to pay his taxes, like walking, and he sees a squirrel, chases a squirrel for like two miles.

Speaker 2 1:07:45

Oh, it's my favorite. I love that show.

Speaker 4 1:07:51

God, I can't remember the last time I actually like watched that show, like when it was current. Quote-unquote.

Speaker 2 1:07:59

Stewie is my favorite character.

Speaker 4 1:08:01

And I know he's like a really common which Stewie is my favorite character and I know he's like a really common evil Stewie or gay Stewie gay.

Speaker 2 1:08:06

Stewie is my favorite.

Speaker 4 1:08:08

I love gay Stewie so much gay Stewie all day.

Speaker 2 1:08:11

I love, fucking, love him so much alright, we're doing this.

Speaker 4 1:08:17

Alright, yeah, kiss, on it. What, what?

Speaker 2 1:08:22

spit on me, not tell me I'm scum my favorite.

Speaker 4 1:08:29

You know it's just. You know, not like a weird way, you know it's just. You know just two guys just getting it done. You know, yeah, it's just one guy, he's living there, he's there. Maybe they do it sometimes, but you know, not like a weird way, just like two guys, you know, just get it done, shit oh, the one with brian and stewie and the clones that they're like trying to raise.

Family Guy References and Clone Fantasies

Speaker 2 1:08:50

They're like they have babies. That's what it is. They have babies and they're all like fucked up and weird. That's one of my favorite episodes. What the fuck were they thinking? This is some Rick and Morty shit. They saw what Rick and Morty were doing and they're like okay, we need to up our game a little bit.

Speaker 4 1:09:07

Alright, let's never do that again the episode where he makes oh god, I just gotta do whatever. He can't be two plays at once. What if you could, brian? He actually makes. He actually makes the clone. I couldn't have it be as smart as me, so I made him a little bit dumber. I call him Bitch Stewie.

Speaker 1 1:09:21

Hey, brian how's it going? You want to show him. Bitch Brian, it feels so good.

Speaker 4 1:09:28

It's Bitch Brian. He goes. Listen, I'm going to be honest. I had all the ideas to do it, but I just really didn't want to, so I had Bitch Stewie do it. Hi, I put a pencil in my butt and now it bleeds. I put a pencil in my butt and now it bleeds.

Speaker 2 1:09:45

What would you make bitch Kyle? Do everything, bitch Becca. Bitch Becca would be changing diapers. Bitch Becca would be doing laundry. Bitch Becca would be doing diapers. Bitch Becca would be doing laundry. Bitch Becca would be doing all of real Becca's responsibilities. I don't know what real Becca would be doing at that point, but bitch Becca would be busy.

Speaker 4 1:10:10

No, bitch Kyle would definitely be doing the dishes and vacuuming and all that kind of fun.

Speaker 2 1:10:14

Oh no, you know what?

Speaker 4 1:10:15

Just bitch work.

Speaker 2 1:10:16

Guys, I think I just realized I'm bitch, becca already.

Speaker 4 1:10:21

She's become self-aware. Becca run.

Speaker 2 1:10:23

Oh no, I'm bitch Becca. The real Becca's out there having the time of her life.

Speaker 4 1:10:29

She's in Cabo right now with one of those coconut drinks Another Family Guy cutaway scene. Real Becca just did a thing where she just kind of stops taking that sip of that drink. She just looks up and the bitch Kyle is with her for whatever reason.

Speaker 2 1:10:49

She goes. What's wrong becca? He goes like she knows.

Speaker 4 1:10:50

Every time bitch becca weeps, real becca like looks off into the distance, like, yeah, so what you're saying is, is that real becca's just staring all the time?

Speaker 2 1:10:56

yeah, all the time like literally hard staring into space.

Speaker 4 1:10:59

That's all I do she was just like gosh, fucking get it together. Man, she knows what would bitch Angie do Make gravy.

Speaker 3 1:11:10

Yeah, make gravy, Because eventually one day bitch Angie will be free. I'm not free right now, Whoa.

Speaker 4 1:11:21

Alright, hold on. I don't know if I have the math capacity.

Speaker 1 1:11:27

No, bitch Angie.

Speaker 2 1:11:33

We have bitch Angie in the basement running the hamster wheel that runs the Black Curtain Club podcast.

Speaker 3 1:11:41

I think I was bitch Angie today when I put you in a timeout.

Speaker 2 1:11:45

You were bitch Angie to me today. I don't appreciate your ass.

Speaker 4 1:11:48

I'm not going to tell me what to do I need mothering? There's a difference between bitch Angie and bitch Angie. We don't mean like bitch Angie.

Speaker 2 1:11:55

Yeah, fucking bitch, angie came out today. I'm just trying to live my life, bitch. Angie, come you like it when I get razzed up out today? Yeah, we're trying to live my life, bitches you come biting at my neck look you like it when I get razzed up, don't you?

Speaker 3 1:12:05

you love it like you got me feeling spiced I did get a little bit of pleasure out of that, I will admit like a nice fall chai latte.

Speaker 2 1:12:17

Just the right amount of spice it takes for me to genuinely like start biting back like it's like stuff is starting to slip through the cracks. I'm starting to lose control a little bit, and angie loved every second of it. She could see it me tripping over my words.

Speaker 3 1:12:31

Oh, jesus, jesus suffering, fuck it was a little bit of a moment of glory I'm glad it made you feel good.

Speaker 4 1:12:40

And then we go back to my house.

Speaker 3 1:12:42

What.

Speaker 4 1:12:43

The whole time I was doing that bit. When Stewie has the guitar and he's singing the different chords and then he ends it where he goes like and then we go back to my house Good one. Thank you.

Speaker 2 1:12:55

You're welcome. You're really funny. You should be on a podcast. I should.

Speaker 4 1:12:59

A couple of the psychos, maybe, for the love of I should, a couple of the psychos maybe. Oh my god, we are definitely taking that out. No.

Speaker 2 1:13:09

You guys, I really shouldn't have checked that episode in the beginning. You guys put me up against the wire. It's been stuck the whole time, ew. So this has been our little I guess you would say like a casual chat episode of the black curtain club podcast. You had me, becca, um, we had kyle and angie here. We didn't have brooke tonight because she's out there sowing her wild oats into the world, but we were thinking of our fourth horseman the entire time.

Speaker 2 1:13:39

If If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and subscribe. If you didn't enjoy this episode, look at all the others we have, because I'm sure one of them will tickle your fancy. We've got like 12 of these bitches now. If you're not subscribed to the Black Curtain Club on all social media, I don't know what the fuck you're doing with your life. But you need to get on it, because we're putting out new episodes every single Monday, we're posting clips almost every single day and we're honestly just really fucking funny and we deserve your attention. So give it to us, or else, exactly, he's new but he gets it. Bye, bye, say bye, kyle.

Speaker 4 1:14:17

Oh, bye, Kyle you.