S2E3: Teeth Thieves, UFOs, and a Dick Named Jerry - A Presidential History

Presidents are sold to us as symbols: brave founders, steady wartime leaders, polished portraits with perfect quotes. We’re not buying it today. Scott joins us for a rapid-fire ride through weird presidential facts that are hilarious, grim, and strangely revealing, the kind of American history trivia that makes you stop mid-sentence and say, “Wait, that’s real?” 

We get into George Washington’s uncomfortable realities, from the famous teeth myth to the darker truth behind what was actually in his mouth, plus the very human fear that he might be buried alive. From there, the conversation leaps to eerie timing and coincidence, including multiple presidents tied to July 4 deaths and the way Lincoln and Kennedy parallels keep fueling both fascination and conspiracy. We also talk about how a simple typo can become a lifelong identity, how some presidents literally weren’t elected into the roles they held, and why “OK” might owe its popularity to a campaign slogan and old slang. 

Then it gets messy: Warren G. Harding’s Prohibition-era hypocrisy, poker culture, and a documented affair with letters so ridiculous they feel made up. We dig into assassination-era incompetence, like Garfield’s infection and Alexander Graham Bell’s metal detector being sabotaged by a metal-spring mattress. And because we can’t resist one more rabbit hole, we touch UFO lore, Area 51 security, and how modern presidents can be surprisingly normal, right down to the unforgettable George W. Bush quotes. 

If you like comedy podcasts with real history, presidential scandal stories, and the kind of facts you immediately text to a friend, hit play. Subscribe, share with a fellow history nerd, and leave us a review with the strangest presidential fact you’ve ever heard.

Transcript

Disclaimer And Hangout Setup

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Before we begin today's episode, we would like to share a quick disclaimer. The views, opinions, and statements expressed by the hosts and guests on this podcast are their own personal views and are provided in their own capacity. All content is editorial, opinion-based, and intended for entertainment purposes only. Listener discretion is advised. Hey everyone, welcome back to the Silly Goose Society. We are continuing with everything Merca. Right? Merca. And we have a guest today. We brought Scott back with all of his amazing book of knowledge on everything that makes no sense. Hi, Scott.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Perfect. Hi. Yeah. It's a small book, but uh it's a book, nevertheless, of things that make no sense, but kind of makes sense, at least me.

SPEAKER_03 1:13

So hey, hey, it's not the number of chapters or pages, it's the sustenance of the content.

Moose Stairs And Cult Movie Love

SPEAKER_00 1:20

I like it.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

That is quality. Oh, there you go. There you go. That was my uh that was my um Hail Mary of a not the size of the ship motion of the ocean joke about books. But um It worked.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

Worked. Hey, welcome back, Scott.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Thanks. Appreciate it. Thanks for having me on.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

I feel like every time you're here, we learn something really outlandish. And Kyle still to this day talks about that moose falling down the stairs. Dude, once I see you, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:54

Scott, I'm a level with you right now, man. I s I swear to God, I'd I'll do anything for everyone to believe me right now. Once a week, I still sit and I think about that. Like when you actually said that, I was like, wait a minute. I think I think my words exactly work. Can we just take a moment and just think about something? How fucking loud that must have been. I assure you not. As God or whatever deity you believe in, as our witnesses, I'll swear on any holy text you need me to, once a week since that night, I think about it. At least once.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

It's gotta sound like uh like imagine the heaviest luggage you've ever had just being thrown down a flight of stairs. That's what it has to sound like.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

I just pictured it being like if Stephen Hawking fell backwards down like an escalator and it's just like he just hit like that hamster wheel level.

unknown 2:52

No?

SPEAKER_03 2:53

I only say him because like let's face it, he had like a fucking he had like a suburban for a fucking wheelchair.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

I tell you, why Tico Brahe hasn't had a movie or a show or something made about him is still beyond me.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

Because I mean there's something they have. What that Tommy guy made, the room. You don't know if that's a movie about Tycho Brahe. Oh, is that what it is?

SPEAKER_00 3:12

I love Tommy Brahe.

SPEAKER_03 3:13

Tell me that's not the same lifestyle.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

I love the room. I don't know if I I can't remember if I've mentioned this before, but the room is seriously one of my favorite movies. Ah, Jesus. Oh, God. I watch the room a lot. I used to like the room so much that I used to buy copies of the room on DVD and any and just keep them in my car. And anytime it ever came up in conversation, I'd go out to my car, get a copy of the DVD, give it to whomever I was talking to about it, and say, here's a copy, watch it.

SPEAKER_03 3:42

It's because of you that movie got made. It's because of you why fucking Franco was able to make that guy because no one gave a shit about that movie. No one gave a shit about that movie. And so I was like, hey, we got enough money. I don't know. This one guy, he gets private.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

There's this one guy in West Virginia who's bought like dozens of copies.

SPEAKER_03 4:02

He's true. The only copies.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

I used to buy literally 10 copies a time on DVD from Amazon. Because they were like 10 bucks or something, like it was nothing. And I just keep copies in my car. And anytime it would come up, whenever I was at pubs or just talking to people, and it just came up, I'd be like, I'll be right back. Give me two minutes, I'll be right back. Go out to my car, get a copy of it, give it to them, sealed, and be like, here is a copy of the room. I need you to watch it.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

And I'd say I know you had you got me to watch it.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

And all the fucking thing on him. And and I would say the same thing every time I said there's three sex scenes in the first 20 minutes, but it's not that kind of movie.

SPEAKER_04 4:43

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Because it is. There's three sex scenes in the first 20 minutes. You see Tommy Worse's bare ass. No real explanation, but it's not that kind of movie. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

Okay, remember what it said a little bit earlier about Jeopardy? Like they'll just say shit and you're like, that's bullshit. That's completely made up. Everything you just said for the past 45 seconds is total falsehood.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Nope. I have there are multiple witnesses out there. And I have have you seen the room? Kyle, have you seen the room? I have. I have. Okay, okay. So I ask everyone, after they've seen the room, one very crucial question about the room. So you've seen the room, I'll ask you the question. Why is the movie called The Room?

SPEAKER_03 5:28

Because you want to paint yours with your brains after you watch it.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Spoiler alert. I mean, let's calm down, so God forgive me. Um but no, it's every time I've asked that question, people are just so enamored with how lovingly terrible the movie is. And then they completely lose fact lose trace of the fact that, oh, wait a minute, why is it even called the room? It makes no sense that it's called the room. They even asked Tommy Wasseau this at one of his many QA's, and he said, Well, the room should be a safe place. It should be a place that you feel comfortable and and loved in. And that's how I felt about this movie, so that's why I call it the room. It has nothing to do with the movie at all. It's just something that he liked as a title, so that's why I called it the room.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

Oh my god, of course. Of course.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

Can we talk about the presidents already before I have another fucking aneurysm? I start to feel gross.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Well, you might have another aneurysm because of the presidents, because I've got a lot of really wacky stuff about presidents, because I find presidents fascinating.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

I can't I I find that very hard to believe that it's going to be wackier than that movie. I'll never yuck anyone's.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

You might be right on that.

SPEAKER_03 6:38

I I I I will never yuck anyone's yum, but I will question their taste when it comes to that movie.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

I love that. It's one of those that it's so bad that it's genius. That's the reason. I mean, it fails in every single respect. It fails in cinematography, it fails in direction, fails in writing, fails in acting, fails in direction of photography. In every way, that movie is a failure. And it all comes together, and it's like, this is the most entertaining thing I've ever seen in my life. I don't know how it does it, but it does it.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

It's did did What's his face has been trying to get a do a remake?

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Bob Odenkirk has done he has done a remake three years ago. He did a essentially one-take remake where they had 12 hours, him and a slew of other actors. Yeah, he had about 12 hours to remake the room. They reshot it with no practice, no readings, no rehearsals, no nothing. They went and remade it, and they want to release it for charity, but it's tied up in this legal situation with him and Tommy Wasso about releasing it. So it's only been shown a very few select times. One of them was recently in the Hollywood Bowl that all the profits went to charity and all that. But it's I really want to see it really badly. I've seen clips of it with Bob Owen Kirk.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Yeah, I've seen like clips of it, and I keep waiting for it to be released.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

I I don't know if it ever will be, and it breaks my heart because I really want to see it. Yeah. Because I mean, I loved love the movie so much that I bought the book that Greg Sestero, the co-star of the movie, wrote about the book, or about the movie, and then I saw the movie about the book, about the movie, and Mother God.

SPEAKER_03 8:33

It it's there's the movie about the book, about the movie, and the book, and the book, and the movie, and the hole in the bottom of the sea. There's a book about the movie in the movie in the book, the hole.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

There's a whole, there's a whole. Oh, it's it's so good. I I love everything about I went through like a 10-year obsession about the room. I'm still kind of there. Anytime anybody mentions that, I'll just go write down this entire, you know, might as well. I'm a 19-year-old Mormon with my copy of the room. Can I bother you to speak about the room for just a few minutes?

SPEAKER_03 9:02

Yeah, that's a Mormon. Would you like to talk about our Lord and Savior Tommy Wiseman? That's exactly right. He does kind of look at it. He did not hit her. He did not.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Oh hi, Mark. Oh, hi, Mark.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Oh, hi, Jesus. Kyle's uh father-in-law is named Mark, and every time he's within earshot, if I'm talking to Kyle or anything, it's I have to say it. I have to say I'm compelled to say it. Oh hi Mark. Oh hi Mark.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

I think that's how we literally opened up the episode with him. It was like, all right, and go. And we both just went, oh, hi Mark. Oh hi Mark.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

Oh,

George Washington Gets Weird

SPEAKER_01 9:40

all right. So, presidents. Uh, all right. Let's let can we s can we start? Because I I hear that, and I've never done any research on it, but I've heard there's quite a bit of lore about George Washington. Like he was really this weird kind of gremlin of a a guy.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Well, I don't know about Greml of guys. He's actually taller than most uh you know, for most people of his time. Yeah, he was like 6'2, which at the time was like being 6'10. You know, everybody was like five and a half feet tall around him. And so, I mean, it's just a tall, red-headed guy with a mouthful of rotten teeth. Uh horse teeth are like lead or some shit, weren't they? Well, no, it was a lot of people, the prevailing theory for years, at least when I was growing up, was all George Washington had wooden teeth. Well, he didn't have wooden teeth, he had a lot of actual human teeth that was in his mouth, and some of them were from slaves, and some of them were from cadavers, but uh uh either way.

SPEAKER_02 10:44

That's besides the point. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

You know, he had a but he had a mouthful of other people's teeth. He didn't have a mouthful of teeth.

unknown 10:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:53

But the more you learn about George Washington, the more the United States, because he's hailed as one of the greatest presidents because he was the first, but the more you learn about him, you're like, you know what? Everything is on par for the course.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

Yeah, he's he's an interesting cat, though. I mean, other than being the first president of the United States, he was he started the French and Indian War by himself, like literally just him. His invasion, uh, he he started one invasion when he was like 22 years old, and it it ended up kicking off the French-Indian War. Uh he um was terrified. One of the more interesting things about him, and you'll appreciate this, is he was terrified of being buried alive. Terrified of it.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

This was like a thing with him. Like uh to the point where when he died, he told the people that were around him on his best, I said, You cannot bury me for three days. You have to leave me out for three days to ensure that I'm actually dead.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

Don't you fucking put a goddamn piece of dirt on me, I'll come back and I put it on the back. And they did it.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

They they literally left him for three days before they took him to the morgue because again, it's George Washington, you go do what he says. But uh he also died in the dumbest way possible. He got a sore throat, and the doctors like did blood letting on him, and he ended up dying more from not being able to recover from the bloodletting than he did from the sore throat that he got.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

So we're also talking about the 1700s here. Not a whole lot of modern medicine here.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

Yeah, uh yeah, as evidenced by this.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

I mean, this was just you know, you you literally one one too many leech.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

The the the president, you know, the the first president of the United States calls you and is like, hey, uh got a sore throat. Can you help? Uh I cannot wait to run to help kill this guy, is basically what happened.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

Question, how did he call them?

SPEAKER_00 12:48

Uh I don't know, maybe by uh carrier pigeon.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

I don't know about that. Pigeon, his his pigeon phone.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

Yeah, pigeon phone.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

He said he was like, Oh, I gotta call for the president. I go, Oh yeah, I had a call.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

You know, one of one of life's great mysteries. I don't know. I wasn't there. I don't know. But yeah, Washington was was an interesting cat. Um, but Washington also had a lot of great things. He is uh the there's only one state named after a president, Washington. And there's even though there's four state capitals named after presidents, uh you've got Jackson, Mississippi, Jefferson City, Missouri, Lincoln, Nebraska, Madison, Wisconsin. But there are two national capitals named after American presidents, which is kind of weird. Of course, you got Washington, Washington, D.C., but you've also got Monrovia uh Liberia, Liberia, uh, which is in Africa, named after James Monroe. Oh, wow. Yeah, founded in uh 1822, uh, is named after Monroe because Monroe was instrumental in taking Northern African Americans uh that had either been uh freed from slavery or had escaped slavery and wanted to uh continue being free, and basically said, you know what, we can send you back to Africa. So they sent them back to Africa and they started their own country of Liberia, like liberation, and they named their capital after James Monroe, Monrovia, and it's still Monrovia to this day. And if you look at the flag for Liberia, it looks a lot. I mean a lot, like a United States flag. It's got the red and white um stripes, and but instead of 50 stars, it's just got one big white star but the blue background, same exact colors. It does only have 11 stripes instead of 13, and it's because they had uh 11 signers for their declaration of independence when they became an independent nation. But it's just a very weird, you know, little parallel that this little country in Africa has a president or has a uh capital named after an American president. Just strange. These are the kind of things that yeah, there it is. That's a flag of Liberia with the eleven stripes.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

That's pretty goddamn American if you ask me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

I mean, it really is, right? Holy moly. Yeah. Yeah, and again, see they're on the design, the eleven horizontal stripes.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Yeah, it's really cool.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Huh.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Yeah. I really uh I really like uh this is the kind of stuff that I go down rabbit holes about when I think about presidents. I'm like, huh, well the you know, our national capital is named after a president. What else is named after presidents? And then you find the four state capitals, but then you're like, wait a minute, there's an African capital named after president. Weird. But yeah, these are the kind of things I run down with rabbit holes about. Um we're talking about Washington being terrified of uh dying. Presidents also die in weird ways, you know. Ange, I think you and I have talked about how Jefferson and Adams died. Yes. For for for the listener out there, Ange has uh the unfortunate uh privilege of listening to me go on these idiotic

July Fourth Deaths And Eerie Parallels

SPEAKER_00 16:30

rants from time to time.

SPEAKER_03 16:32

At least yours are educational. You ought to hear that shit she hears me go on about.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

For the love of Christ. I don't think, I don't think, you know, I'm sure she probably at least finds yours entertaining. Mine is just like a book on tape that she can fall asleep to or something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

Oh no, she is she's falling asleep on me or anything about shit.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

I was gonna say I've not I have not ever fallen asleep to anything Scott has said, so it must be somewhat entertaining, but also I still want to put the little the little uh footnote there that I was sick. I was very sick.

SPEAKER_03 17:14

There's a reason I fell asleep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

Yeah. It wasn't.

SPEAKER_04 17:22

It's like I was fucking sick. Like that's a waist for it.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Like they want to tell you. It's like Washington calling for somebody, I've got a sore throat. Well, I can just uh finish the job. And so it's like her calling you like sort of film wheel. Oh, another thing about Washington, oh, another thing about Washington is they tried to bring him back to life using Lamb's uh using Lamb's blood. They tried a transfusion to make him into his to make him they once they figured out they took too much blood from him, they tried to transfuse Lamb's blood into him to see if it would bring him back to life. Oh my god, can you imagine the universe where that fucking worked? Zombie George Washington.

SPEAKER_03 18:06

I imagine the universe where that fucking worked. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

I wonder if he would bleat.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

Imagine the universe where that actually happened, where he just went like completely brain, he went total Mitch and just like brain dead as shit, just like walking around. And we're just like, Mr. President, how do you feel?

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Wonder if they'd make them call him like George Washington or anything after that.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Ah, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

Keep your wait staff, they're working hard for you.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

He or he might be like uh sentient, like prepotente, you know.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

Oh, like the weather like crossing down, it was bad. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

On George. But yeah, presidents uh they even die in interesting ways. Uh like I said, uh I've I think I've talked to Ange about this before. In that Jefferson and Adams both died on the exact same day. They died on July 4th, 1826, the 50th anniversary. We're just coming off. We're we're just coming off the 250th anniversary at this at this recording, and um, you know, July 4th, 1826, both Adams and Jefferson die on the same day. And they had had a bit of a falling out for years, uh, but reconciled late in both their lives. And um July 3rd. Some not far off, but uh on Adam's deathbed, it is recorded that he actually said uh Thomas Jefferson lives is like his dying words, and he didn't know that Jefferson actually died earlier that morning. Oh, that lying bitch.

SPEAKER_03 19:57

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

Yeah, yeah, that that had to suck. But yeah, uh, but yeah, July 4th, death date for both of those guys, and then James Monroe dies on July 4th, 1831, five years later. Uh James Madison died on June 28th, 1836, another five years later, but his doctor actually tried to put him on stimulants just to keep him alive, just so he could die on July 4th, because he thought that was like a really cool idea or something.

SPEAKER_03 20:30

He's got him jacked up on Mountain Dew and fucking percocets.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

And he was like, You gotta fucking hang on, man. Just just, you know, putting straight methamphetamines down his throat, just being like, it was probably like cocaine eye drops he's fucking putting under his tongue and shit. Oh, but I love that story about how his doctor's like, hey, let's uh see if we can keep this guy kicking for about another week. That'd be a good story, right?

SPEAKER_03 20:55

Oh my god, please tell me you have the list either in your brain or with you. And I'm pretty sure you've heard all these ones. I I for the love of God, I don't remember all of them, but the insane amount of like similarities and shit with um Kennedy and the Kennedy and Johnson thing. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Or the Kennedy and Lincoln thing, yeah. Oh my god, those are my things.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Yeah, they're they're strange in that Lincoln and uh Kennedy uh both assassinated, obviously. Both uh had vice presidents named Johnson who ascended to become the president. Um the Lincoln's assassin um shot uh shot him in a theater and ran to a shot in Ford's theater and ran to it was the hotel. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

Yes and no, but he ran to the library and the other one.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Ran to the library and the other one was in the library and ran to a bar.

SPEAKER_03 21:53

Or ran to a theater. Ran went to a theater, that's it. Went to the theater and so he was shot in Ford. Theater and wasn't Kennedy writing in a Ford or something too? Yeah, something like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

It's dude, there's so many fucking weird things.

SPEAKER_00 22:07

They both had a secretary that was the same name. But this is the kind of stuff I'm talking about. There's only been 45 guys to ever be president. And uh, you know, the fact that we have all these weird little coincidences about the same ones is just it's fascinating to me. But uh, but yeah, even the fact that, you know, three of them have died on July 4th of all dates, and uh a fourth one they tried to get him to die on July 4th. Uh Zachary Taylor didn't die on July 4th, but he died because of July 4th. So this guy decides uh he's at a July 4th celebration and is having uh cherries and milk. That was like the sweet delicacy of the day. And they go together like lamentina fish. He ate so many cherries and milk and that his stomach essentially expanded and just things went completely south. The dude basically shit himself to death because of the sour milk and cherries that he was eating. So he wish he wish he would have died on July 4th, but he ended up living for a few days afterward. Man directly because of July 4th celebrations, those that um that caused his death. Uh but yeah. Again, weird, just weird little uh coincidences about stuff like that. Um and speaking of dead presidents, you know, you've got John Tyler. John Tyler um had no tombstone for like 37 years when they finally got uh around to putting a tombstone up, they got the date wrong on his tombstone. That's how little they respected him. Uh he was the only pres the reason why is because he was the only president still to history that died and was buried as an enemy of the state. He uh after becoming president seceded. He was part of the Confederacy. That's right, yeah, yeah. And uh because of that, he after after he died, he was literally an enemy of the Union. Uh so he's still to this day the only president to die as an enemy of the state. Uh Tyler also His presidency ain't over yet. Tyler's still uh uh he's 10th president, and we're currently on 47, and he still has a living grandson uh out there as of this date, 2026. Yeah. Wow, yeah. He had two living grandsons, one of them died last year, uh, or year before last. Uh but still, living grandson to this day. I mean, that's just crazy to think about. I just I think it's crazy to think about. It also goes to show that like some stuff in history it's really not as long ago as some people would think.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

I mean, you think that's you know, that's two generations, uh three if you count, you know, Tyler himself. But uh, you know, we

Name Changes And Accidental Presidents

SPEAKER_00 25:10

still have the the second generation after Tyler still alive. And I mean, just for that to be a thing is just kind of insane to me. Um even president names to me are interesting. Like if I told you we had a former president whose birth name was Leslie Lynch King Jr., could you tell me which president that is? Johnson. Born uh not Johnson. It's uh well you had two shots there with that too, but it's not either one of them. Yeah, Leslie Lynch King Jr. Leslie Lynch King Jr. was the birthname of Gerald R. Ford Jr. Whoa. Yeah. He was born Leslie Lynch King Jr. Uh his parents uh divorced uh and he was somebody look at him and be like you want to be president, not with a name like that.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Leslie Lynch King Justin. If you're gonna go anywhere, it's like listen, you got half of it. You're a white guy, so you got half it. You need a better fucking name, dude.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

Yeah. So so yeah, so he ends up taking his stepfather's name and becomes Gerald Ford Jr. as opposed to Leslie Lynch King Jr. And uh even yeah, uh he's also the only Gerald Ford is also the only president that was never elected either vice president or president. He was never on any presidential ticket uh that he was successfully elected on. Uh when when uh Nixon started getting into a scandal-ridden years, Spiro Agnew, his original vice president, um, well, his second that's another story, but his vice president at the time actually resigned and they appointed Gerald Ford as vice president, and then when Nixon resigned, Ford becomes president and was never elected to either, was never on either presidential ticket, still ended up being president.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Wow, he forrest gumped his way there.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

He forrest gumped his way there, a little bit, yeah. Which is funny because in Forrest Gumped they talk about Nixon. Yeah, they do, yeah. He's part of the Watergate scandal in the movie, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

I think they lost power because over there they got a bunch of flashlights or something.

SPEAKER_00 27:35

Uh Forrest. But yeah, it's it's weird though that that and Ford also even won, he was a uh national champion um football player, too. He played for University of Michigan, won two national championships with them. Yes, he did. He uh he was also a uh model, uh I forget which magazine, but he was a model on uh he was like a published model on magazines in his youth, too. Um but yeah, Gerald Ford is one of those almost really accidental presidents.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Um which which president left office and went into whiskey making?

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Probably all of them. I'm trying to think. Let me think here.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

It was one of the early early presidents.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

I thought that they I know that I know that Washington had uh didn't just grow tobacco but grew wheat and he used that to make whiskey.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

That's what I'm thinking of.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

You might be thinking of Washington.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

That's what I'm thinking of, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

Yeah, yeah, because uh being in Virginia, tobacco was the cash crop, but he also grew wheat and as a side business did distill whiskey.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

Oh yeah. But yeah, Gerald Ford wasn't born Gerald Ford. Bill Clinton wasn't born Bill Clinton, he was William Jefferson Blythe III. That's a fuck awful name. Yeah, and then imagine Blythe, that's a terrible name. Oh, that's just another situation. His father actually died, and mother remarried, and he went by the stepfather's name. Same same scenario, except this was a widowed scenario instead of a divorce. But uh, either way, that's how he became Bill Clinton was by uh taking on his stepfather's name, too. And, you know, we were talking about earlier, Kyle, about how if I had a nickel, it's one there's doc you know the Dr. Doofin Schmerz.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

Um every time it was always merged by a platypus.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Mm-hmm. I'd have two nickels. Which isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 29:52

Well, we have that ever.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

It's like my worst nightmare. There's two of you.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

Hey, hey, hey, Scott, Scott. Do a bobcat impression. That's pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 30:17

Okay, so there you go. Here's how you do the best impression of him.

unknown 30:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:23

Apparently, in Tasmania Devil getting a prostate exam and enjoying it. That's good.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

That's good. There are a lot of parallels there. I like that. I'm gonna have to steal that. Anytime anybody else asks me for a Bobcat Goldwaite impression, I'll have to do that. She gets that a lot. I get that, you know, it's weird it happened twice, but um. But I think of I think of Dr. Doof and Schmerzman, I think about presidential names too, because if I had a nickel for every time we had a president who had a middle initial S that didn't stand for any name, I'd have two nickels. But it seems like a lot, but it's weird. It's a lot, but I'm weird at that twice, right? Because U.S. Grant, his name wasn't Ulysses S. Grant, his name was Hiram Ulysses Grant. He goes into West Point, they write his name as Ulysses S. Grant, and just a complete typo, and he just rolls with it, never corrects them, just goes on living life as Ulysses S. Grant, but the S never stood for anything.

SPEAKER_03 31:32

Leave it to the goddamn American bookkeepers from back in oldie times, because as as the family lore story goes, that's how we got the last name of powers because it's the way out on the tree when they all immigrated immigrated, immigrated, whatever. The song by Led Zeppelin. Um immigrant song, yeah. There you go. Um when they came over on Ellis Island, they were just like, alright, all the O'Connell's over there, and all you over there, and it goes all the powers over there. So they said they just they just put the S on the end. So I guess our actual last name is Power, not Powers. They just said, alright, fuck it, leave the S. Because we don't give a shit. You damn patty fucks. Yeah, just what it says. It's like, we're just trying to keep the line moving, you know? Exactly. Keep it moving. You have an S now. Welcome to America. Fuck up.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Be happier here. Go check out the uh gift shop under uh Lady Liberty over there. Get you a nice uh you know, keychain or something. Um but yeah, so Ulysses S. Grant, S doesn't stand for anything. Harry S. Truman, the S doesn't stand for anything. His middle name is literally.

SPEAKER_03 32:39

S stands for small penis. Huh. That guy was the fucking worst, man. That guy was an asshole.

SPEAKER_00 32:47

Well, I'd be careful saying that around him. He dropped a couple big ones on people. Uh he didn't have to be a good one.

SPEAKER_03 32:52

He dropped two that wasn't see exactly that. He was the ass man where everyone else did all the work, and he gets all the fucking credit.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

Yeah, that he's the guy who comes in at the end is just like, oh well, let me just put the fire touches on this and oblivion.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

The fuck you did. Your maid told you to do it.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

Always think of the end that ending scene of uh of Oppenheimer where it's him and Oppenheimer and he's trying to give Oppenheimer a tissue for how bad he feels about dropping the bombs. It's just like, man, Truman was a Truman, you're right, Truman was a bit of a dick, but he he did get shit done. So uh, you know, poor personality, but uh pretty effective method. But yeah, his uh the S and his name didn't stand for anything either. So you we had two presidents with literally the middle initial S that had no name attached to the middle initial at all. Just weird.

Teddy Roosevelt Myth And Real Pain

SPEAKER_01 33:50

Do not ruin any lore for me for Teddy Roosevelt. Well, Teddy Roosevelt's great.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

I mean, you you know, of course, Teddy Roosevelt. That's the reason we have a Teddy Bear is literally because I thought that was like debunked or whatever it was. Is that is that a true story? That's a true story. That's that's true. I mean, again, I wasn't there, but uh it it everything I've read is that the Teddy Bear directly came from Teddy Roosevelt. I mean the timing and the timing does mesh really well.

SPEAKER_03 34:19

So he's yeah, the story was like he he was a hunter and he couldn't go bear hunting or he didn't get one, so they literally just like caught one and like brought it to like the Oval Office, and he was like, No, I'm not fucking shooting this bear, they didn't hunt it, it's just killing me. Right? That's that's the story, right?

SPEAKER_00 34:31

It's something like that. That's that's one of the stories that I've heard. Yeah. Don't know how apocryphal that is or anything, but I do know that that's something along the lines of what I've heard, yeah. Uh yeah, no, we we we love Teddy Roosevelt.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

He's the reason where we have like national parks and shit. Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 34:47

He's the founder of the national parks. Uh moose. And um, yeah, bull moose party, founder of the bull moose party. Um he um like a bull moose, he got shot giving a giving a speech, and not only refused medical attention, but continued his speech, spoke for an hour and a half after being shot in the chest.

SPEAKER_03 35:10

Um, what was it that stopped the bullet? Because I've heard the stories and I'm called.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

He had the speech in his uh breast pocket, and that's what slowed the bullet down. Still got through, but it slowed it down significantly. Yeah. But yeah. I thought it was like his flask or something like that. I'm like, that's a fucking man. That's I mean, the dude is just I mean, he's just an absolute uh gem of a person.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

I bet you if he owned a moose, he would never let it fall down the stairs.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

I don't he might not let it, he'd definitely get drunk though.

SPEAKER_03 35:41

But listen, listen, listen, let's all just come on. Being around the bush in this one. Bet you was fucking hung like one, too. The guy was a goddamn man.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

Just an absolute warrior of a man. Just a powerhouse. He um he actually uh he kept he kept uh very good journals, and he uh actually lost his um wife from complications after childbirth, and he lost his mother on the exact same day.

SPEAKER_02 36:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

Both both women in his life died on the exact same day, and it was Valentine's Day of that year. Oh yeah. So in his journal for February 14th of that year, there's no journal entries, it just has a big X from the top to the bottom. And uh in the next journal entry, the only thing he wrote was The Light of My Life has Gone Out. Just, I mean, just a tortured human being that then later became president. He had a daughter named Alice, who I'd love to see a movie uh talk about somebody needs a movie made about them. Alice Roosevelt needs to have uh a movie uh made about her because she was an absolute maniac. She at one point uh Theodore Roosevelt once said, I can either be I can be president of the United States or I can be a father to Alice. I can't be both. Like I can't control Alice and be the president at the same time. That's how crazy she is. She's smoking, drinking, partying all hours of the night. I mean, she was just Oh, she was an absolute maniac. She was like the first wild child uh in American history. Like, you know, after the Industrial Revolution times. But um, yeah, yeah, Teddy Roosevelt was just a peach. And that that reminds me of something about the other Roosevelt, FDR. Do you do you know what Eleanor Roosevelt's maiden name is? By any chance? Anybody? Um Bueller, Bueller, anyone? Bueller, Bueller? Bueller, Bueller? I'll let you off the hook. Eleanor Roosevelt's maiden name was Roosevelt. Because FDR married his cousin. I believe it. Oh nice. Why that doesn't get actually Teddy Roosevelt is closer related by blood to Eleanor Roosevelt than he was uh Franklin D. Roosevelt. Um it's it's one of those things that they have a joke running around of what's trashy if you're poor and classy if you're rich, and always see incest as the uh number one answer. Because you've got like all of these you've got all of these royal families who basically just inbreed amongst themselves, but you know, yeah when poor Appalachians do it, you know, then it's all then it's a problem. But um but yeah, uh Eleanor Roosevelt's maiden name was Roosevelt. Uh it's just again, one of those things that just isn't talked about enough. It's just kind of weird.

SPEAKER_03 38:39

I'm pretty sure there's a pretty solid goddamn reason why.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Yeah, still, I don't know. I mean the time's past by now. It's uh, you know.

SPEAKER_03 38:50

Yeah, we can talk about it. That that's another thing, yeah. Truman's like, but let's let's go ahead and just once again, let's just call it how we see it. Yeah. Um FDR was not as great of a president as uh he's he's claimed to be.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

He was he was he was a great wartime president. He was exactly the man for the time. I don't know what he would have been like as a peacetime president, but for the war, he and Churchill on both sides of the Atlantic were exactly who needed to be in that seat.

SPEAKER_03 39:18

You know, oh yeah, no, Churchill a million percent. That guy was fucking he was probably the closest thing to like British patent ever. Right. That man was the fucking bully. Yeah, yeah. He's exactly who needed to be in charge of Britain at the time. Exactly who needed to be in charge. If he was in the US, the war would have gone completely different. Yeah. And another president.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

Wasn't it Eleanor Roosevelt that she could became real good friends with Lady Death?

SPEAKER_03 39:43

She did I don't know who she did. She became close personal friends with Lady Death.

SPEAKER_00 39:47

Tell me about that story. I don't know the story.

SPEAKER_03 39:49

Uh she just loved her because honestly, it's really not that much of like an uh in-depth crazy story. It's just like, you know, like, okay, it's the after the war, now we need heroes and kind of parade them around, and well, yeah, this woman who had more confirmed kills than half the fucking US army, it just happens on like Eleanor Roosevelt's doorstep, and she's like, you know what? You're a bad bitch. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 40:13

And they became close personal friends after that. So she was the sniper, right? She was the was was she was she a Soviet sniper or was she a Soviet sniper? Is that how it worked? Okay. Yep. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

Yeah, I cannot pronounce her real name. I just know her as Lady Death. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:35

Yeah. Yeah. Eleanor, yeah. Yeah, that's that's really cool. She's also one of the few first, I think she's the only first lady that has that is part of her husband's presidential memorial uh in Washington, DC. If you go to the FDR Memorial in DC, she's her statue is beside is close to um is close to um FDR's. Uh but her dog also made the list. So I mean it's uh they're pretty indiscriminate on about who made the statues there, so he should have.

SPEAKER_01 41:18

He was a good boy.

SPEAKER_00 41:20

He was a good pup.

SPEAKER_03 41:21

I mean, yeah, 100%. I mean he had to deal with his polio stricken psychotic father, like, you know.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

Yeah, he uh and he didn't get polio until he was almost forty years old. Talk about a bad like roll of the dice, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:38

Like late in life, man, that's a oof. Yeah. Like Tiny Tim had polio, right? Or something like that. Like you get polio when you're a kid, you know? Yeah, right. Yeah, that's what you think of. You think of someone else?

SPEAKER_00 41:47

Yeah, like a mortgage and shit. Like for years when I thought of FDR and having polio, I thought, well, he was afflicted by it when he was young, and he just no, he was a healthy man until he was in like his until he wasn't until he was in his late thirties. And then and it it he wasn't totally paralyzed, but he was just, you know, just not able to really stand and walk. Oh, his legs didn't work like they used to before.

unknown 42:13

Didn't it work?

SPEAKER_00 42:14

But yeah, the uh the Scottish Terrier of Fala is has a statue right beside of FDR in the memorial, though. I think I think it's just that's a fun that's just a function.

SPEAKER_03 42:30

But you know.

SPEAKER_00 42:33

Did FDR bang the house servants? It's pretty easy to run away for if you're you know, if you could do it just go a bunch more. Now, speaking of presidents who did bang, though, I mean my guy Warren G. Harding. Warren G. Harding, pound for pound. Literally. Maybe maybe the worst president we've ever had. Because he only got two years in office, but damn, he made a lot of those two years. He was so bad. He was president during prohibition, but still had weekly poker games in the White House that he made his cabinet attend as a mandatory thing. And when they were at the poker

Harding Poker Booze And Scandals

SPEAKER_00 43:20

games, liquor was just openly served. Even nice during prohibition, right?

SPEAKER_01 43:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:26

Well, okay, so listen, you do as I say, not as I do. Oh, how you couldn't, if you still had it, if it if you had it before prohibition went to effect, they were allowed to have it then. You couldn't get it like once prohibition went to effect, you couldn't acquire it anymore. But if you had like stockpiles of it, that was okay. That was completely legal for you to have.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

Who knew? Who knows? I don't know. I don't know how he got it. I'm just saying that he was just very much like, Hey, you know what, they're not drinking out there, but we're drinking in here. Uh he didn't want to even be president. He only ran because his wife made him run. And and she wanted to be first lady. So she made him run for president. He didn't want to be president. He runs, wins, and then as soon as he gets in, just like, I hate this job. I just want to drink it play poker. This job sucks. Why am I doing this? Uh so and he had a long-term, like long-standing affair with a woman named Nan Britton. And like this is like well confirmed that he had a mistress named Nan Britton because they have letters that the two of them wrote that are very intimate. Uh they even did DNA evidence uh on Nan Britton's child. Turns out it's Warren G. Harding. They found that out in like 2012 or sometime. Uh but uh yeah, the letters between Nan Britton and Warren G. Harding are hilarious because Warren G. Harding just talks about his dick the entire time in the letters. Calls it Jerry.

SPEAKER_01 44:59

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 45:00

The name for Warren G. Harding they gave his dick is Jerry. That's what I thought too, but it's a J. It doesn't even make sense. Again, these presidents don't make sense with initials. I mean, none of them, none of them make a blick of sense. But yeah, Jerry uh was Warren G. Harding's name for his own member that he wrote in the uh uh that he wrote in these letters to the important cabinet member. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

I bet those were steamy letters for the time.

SPEAKER_00 45:33

They really were. I mean, they were uh I mean they were explicit. If you get a chance, go just go Google them sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 45:43

I'm not Googling right now. I mean, it's it's uh like next up on twin, the love letters between the president. Like a like an old-timey president voice. I'll fucking do it. I'll do it like JFK's voice. I will thrust myself upon today, and you will take my spider pink sword.

SPEAKER_00 46:02

Talk about another one. I mean, him and Marilyn Monroe, the rumors of that. Uh that's alleged rumors. So the uh that's the reason that he allegedly couldn't bend down when the shots rang out in Dallas is because he was wearing a back brace where he threw it out. Yeah, having relations with really yeah again, that's the rumor, but yeah. That one's less confirmed, but yeah. Uh but interesting the interesting thing about uh Kennedy, um assassinated, autopsy, uh they pulled out his brain. Yeah, terrible. And because of the back brace. Um terrible at ducking. Um I've also been to the sixth floor uh book depository. There's no way there's no duck.

SPEAKER_03 46:47

We're not doing this, we're not doing this, we're not doing this.

SPEAKER_00 46:49

There's no way Oswald Wall made that shot.

SPEAKER_03 46:51

There's no way he made that shot. I will go on for fucking days about this shit.

SPEAKER_02 46:57

Okay, and just watch for that matter. Just watch the movie JFK. Just watch it. Back into the left, back into the left, back into the left.

SPEAKER_00 47:05

And uh but speaking of that conspiracy though, uh his uh Kennedy's brain has never been found since the autopsy.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

Like, because see how fucking hard he got shot? It's all over fucking Dallas. It's literally rooted in the God camp.

SPEAKER_00 47:20

None of the pieces of it were they had it and then it disappeared. So and yeah, it's uh it's again the conspiracy goes deep.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

Um now who would just want a brain?

SPEAKER_00 47:35

I think it's because it showed too much evidence of where Kennedy was shot.

SPEAKER_01 47:40

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 47:42

Uh is why that they took it like showing that it's a fernal shot, not a shot from the shot.

SPEAKER_01 47:47

So it's probably been destroyed. It's not like hanging out in a jar somewhere. Oh god.

SPEAKER_03 47:52

No, that shit was destroyed. I bet you didn't even make that. I'm telling you, they put it in a blender. I think they had blenders back then. They went on Frape and flushed it. They disposed of it immediately.

SPEAKER_00 48:03

But yeah, yeah. Uh just uh wild stuff. But again, they say that he couldn't duck because he was wearing back brace because of him and Marilyn. And uh another guy who really liked talking about his dick that was president was LBJ. LBJ really loved it.

SPEAKER_03 48:21

He seemed he kind of seemed like a pig.

SPEAKER_00 48:24

He indiscriminately would just pull his dick out and pee wherever he was, where whoever he's talking to. He he considered it like a power move with like anybody talking to.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

Like a dog peeing on his dog address, my fellow Americans. It is with great pleasure, and I mean I serve this beautiful country.

SPEAKER_00 48:46

He like uh one time he literally took his dick out and had it in his hand while he's talking to a reporter and said, Have you ever seen anything that big in your life? Uh seriously, was that what well was it big? Yeah, because they have a recorded phone call. You can look this up too. There's a recorded phone call of LBJ talking trying to order trousers, like he's talking about trying to order new pants. And he's talking to whoever's doing the ordering, he says, okay, you've got to get uh you've got to get pants that are bigger in the crotch because uh he says, so it doesn't pinch me up in my balls and my bunghole, is what he says. Uh but the audio is out there of him talking about how tight the crotch is on normal pants, so he's gotta get roomier crotched pants uh so these dick balls and butthole don't uh get tightened up, right? Odd. The best part about that call is he burps right in the middle of him talking about it too. It's just a hilarious phone call.

SPEAKER_03 49:44

I have I've literally absolutely nothing. You just see some of his pictures, like his presidential, like you know, like the portrait that happened. He was like, it's like that guy was a fucking pig, wasn't he?

SPEAKER_00 49:54

Pig, absolute pig. Just like garbage human. He openly flirted, he would like call Jackie Kennedy after the assassination and would openly like hit on her, like during phone calls. Just a pig of a man.

SPEAKER_03 50:10

Uh well, your husband lost his, so how about I give you some head, Jackie? Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 50:15

I mean, like, Jesus Christ. He thought about running for a second term, and when he uh he got a diagnosis, uh dude was a chronic smoker, never ate right, and his doctor said, Listen, you're gonna be dead in five years. So you might just letting you know, you might want to consider that before you run for president and waste four of them doing that. So he didn't run for president, and sure enough, after the doctor told him that, he was dead in five years. Just nailed it. But he was a he would uh again talking about him being a pig, he would openly just uh talking to reporters, just lead him in the bathroom while he's talking to him, go in, take a dump with the door open. I mean, wild stuff.

SPEAKER_03 51:05

He just looks like he would smell like stale beer bratwurst, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 51:09

Yeah, and and like unfiltered paw malls, yeah, you know, I mean yeah, dude was not dude was just clearly publicly unfit for president. He was just I don't know. He was just a slob. Just a slob of a guy. I mean, you go from, you know, JFK and and Camelot to LB.

SPEAKER_03 51:34

Oh, he came a lot, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_00 51:36

Yeah, he did. That's that's the rumor. But yeah, I mean, uh it's I just like I said, when it comes down these, when it comes to these presidential rabbit holes, like uh a lot of weird little rabbit holes I go down with this. Like Martin Van Buren, Martin Van Buren's presidency, his failed re-election campaign may be the reason that we have okay as a word. Let that sink in for a hot second. I love it. Like the word okay that we all take for granted, right? Yeah, it's only a word. Uh, because in the uh early 1800s, um, you know how kids everybody's got their slang that they have for their generation right now. You of course you've got 6'7 and everything's sus and cap and all this crap.

SPEAKER_03 52:30

Apparently, cunt is uh sign of admiration and no longer anything.

SPEAKER_01 52:33

If something's cunty, it's good.

SPEAKER_00 52:36

Okay, there you go. Uh well in the 1800s,

How OK Became A Word

SPEAKER_00 52:40

uh it was uh these Ivy League kids were speaking almost in like a cottony rhyming type of thing, where they'd use the wrong words to mean other words, and then they'd shorten them to initials. And one of the one that caught on was instead of saying all correct, they'd say oil correct with O-L-K-O-R-R-E-T. And that became shortened to okay, and that was one of the slang of the day. So when um Van Buren was running for re-election, he was known as Old Kinderhook, and his election campaign slogan was Old Kinderhook is okay, right? Uh for all correct. And it stuck, and because of that, it popularized uh it's the one slang that came out of those Ivy League slang term days that stuck and became the word okay as we know it now.

SPEAKER_04 53:43

Huh.

SPEAKER_00 53:43

Yeah. So when you say something's okay, it's only been around for like 200 years, even though it feels like a word that should have been around for forever. Okay. Another quick little rap hold that around this.

SPEAKER_04 53:55

Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 53:56

Alright, whatever. I don't give a shit right now. Something else that that feels like it should be a lot older, but it's really not. Chocolate chip cookies.

SPEAKER_00 54:07

Yeah, right. I learned that.

SPEAKER_03 54:11

Like the 30s. It was invented in the 30s. I have met people that were alive for quite some time before the chocolate chip cookie was like, dude, I what the fuck do you mean that goddamn Martha Washington, right? That was Martha, right? Martha, she wasn't like fucking those shits up in like the cauldron or whatever the fuck they had back then cooking it. What the fuck do you mean that like King Louis the whatever the shit wasn't eating those? Like, I feel like that's literally as I feel like the chocolate chip cookie should be as old as bread. It's not. It's as old as like the guy who just retired from accounting.

SPEAKER_00 54:50

Yeah. Like they they talk about older than sliced bread. Sliced bread hasn't been around that long either. Sliced bread uh like uh came around about the same time that the chocolate chip cookie came around.

SPEAKER_02 55:00

Yeah, so the 40s, right? Something like that. Like the it was just loaves of bread. I want a sandwich, but I don't want two whole loaves of bread.

SPEAKER_01 55:09

Tough shit.

SPEAKER_00 55:11

Yeah, too bad, kid.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 55:14

You take the whole loaf or you get nothing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:17

But yeah. Yeah, it was like the 30s or something like that one. And uh the one on um Toll House, chocolate uh chocolate marsels. That is the very, very first. That is the original chocolate cookie recipe.

SPEAKER_00 55:30

Yeah. Yeah. The first published one, yeah. I've heard that.

unknown 55:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:36

Nuts. Yeah. Like last year.

SPEAKER_03 55:38

Anywho, presidents.

SPEAKER_00 55:40

Oh yeah. So another thing, I'm sure Angela will appreciate this because it's a little it's a little weird. There's a the curse of tip of canoe. That is like if you're if you were a president that had a zero ending year that you were elected in, that uh bad things happen to you for the longest time. Like 1840, William Henry Harrison's elected, dies in Bonia, serves 31 days. That was like a month, right? Yeah. He but that was because he's an idiot. He uh literally gets elected in 1840, and election day is like in March back then. Or uh sorry, inauguration day was in March. And he's given a speech in a absolute drizzling pisspoor rain that's cold and wet, and he gives the just this insanely long speech. And because he's out in the cold and the wet, he gets pneumonia, and because he gets pneumonia in 1840, he dies.

SPEAKER_03 56:43

So and that's what could have been worse, he could have just had the sore throat and died fucking what 50, 60 years before that.

SPEAKER_00 56:49

Right. Um, and he uh he is the first president to die in office, leading everybody to lose their mind over who's gonna be president now, and that's when John Tyler, remember John Tyler? We were talking about him earlier. Yeah, he decides uh oh, I'm vice president, I'm just gonna be president. And everybody's like, no, you can't just do that. And he's like, watch me. He just bitch watch. Yeah, and he and he literally fucking president. He was he was nicknamed his accidency uh in his time because uh that's uh he wasn't ever supposed to be president in their eyes, but he just basically was like, no, I'm gonna be president, to the point where they had to like clean it up in the Constitution through an amendment after his time to be like, okay, let's make this extremely clear what the line of secession is after uh a president dies, if a president dies in office. But yeah, William Henry Harrison dies in office in 1840, 1860, uh Lincoln's elected, assassinated. 1880, Garfield's elected, assassinated. Yikes. 1900, William McKinley's elected, assassinated. Uh 1920, Warren G. Harding, my guy, died of an illness. I never got to finish talking about that guy. 1940, FDR dies of a brain hemorrhage. 1960, Kennedy assassinated. Uh it broke, finally, uh Reagan broke the curse, even though he was shot.

SPEAKER_03 58:16

Fucking Reagan. Yeah, no, so that shit happened to him because he was fucked everything.

SPEAKER_00 58:20

Was that close to to uh John Hinckley was just a little bit to the one way or the other, we might uh, you know. Again, nobody wants to impress Jodie Foster anymore. It's just uh it's just such a shame. Um that's right, it was Jodie Foster, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Jodie Foster, catcher and the ride, uh not catching the ride, but uh the the the letters to Jody Foster and yeah, yeah, yeah. John Hinckley Jr. Real real interesting cat there. But yeah, that that broke the elected in a year that ended in a zero curse for the um for the presidents after that. Um but yeah, Warren G. Harding. Going back to Warren G. Harding. So like I said here, he died of illness, died in 1923. This is after, uh, again, he's got Nan Britton, who, again, he's having like relations with in a closet next to the White House that he makes his like service people stand guard to make sure nobody walks in on him. Uh and he's just uh an absolute miserable president. Uh scandal after scandal, T bot the D teapot dome scandal is like a whole thing then. Uh and but uh about uh somewhere in 1922, uh he just says, you know what, I'm not feeling this president thing anymore. I'm just gonna go fishing. So he goes to Alaska and goes fishing for like six months. And this is this is like 1922. This isn't like now when you can text somebody.

SPEAKER_01 59:52

He just goes to Alaska.

SPEAKER_00 59:55

Goes off to Alaska and just goes fishing for like six months, and just people are like, I guess we just don't have a president right now, okay? That's just, you know, I guess that's just the way it's gonna be. And uh when he's coming back from Alaska, he's coming by train and goes through San Francisco and dies in San Francisco and he's asleep. And some people have rumored that his wife was so fed up with him and was just so done with him that she hadn't killed in San Francisco, but who knows if that's true or not. But yeah, Warren G. Harding was just an absolute next level piece, again, pound for pound, next level piece of garbage. The explanation though, teapot dome scandal was like a um oil um land rights scandal that uh in the deposition of them talking about teapot dome scandals uh details, they got a prospector to talk about it and the transcript from what the tra the from what the prospector explained, how oil works when you're rigging for it, became the I drank your milkshake milkshake speech from There Will Be Blood. So if you know the I drank your milkshake from Daniel Day Lewis, that speech. That is basically taken from the deposition about how what was going on in the Teapot Dome scandal back in uh the 1920s. So just an another weird little way that it relates to today. But yeah, I just find presidents interesting overall. And I figured since this is, you know, just after the 250th anniversary of the nation, figured uh, you know, let's do that. Air out some of the leaders dirty laundry there. Right. Just talk about weird presidential facts and just weird things that uh happen to be about with uh all these guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:56

With a zero thing. You said Reagan broke it, and it was already now. Did they have to be assassinated or was just they had like a pretty shaped president? They died.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:05

They all died like in office.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:07

Oh, okay. That's what it was. Because I was just like, I thought it was like bad things happened to them. I was like, I don't know, man. The contra affair was pretty rough.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:15

That was rough, but again, he didn't die. It was all of those guys died in office. Yeah, all of those guys, like Harrison, Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, Harding, Roosevelt, Kennedy, all died in office. All four assassinations were were those guys.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:31

You know the one thing about Lincoln that I cannot uh reconcile in my head was that he was a he was a lifeguard when he was young. Oh yeah, I've read that.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:43

Yeah. He wanted to be a lawyer and he uh also loved comedy. He was he had uh he loved writing puns, and in a lot of his speeches he would give, he would try to put like really shitty jokes in there.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:55

He's also the only president in the National Wrestling Hall of Fame. That is also true. That is also true.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:02

He was another Rascallion. That's he uh if he didn't get shot in the back of the head like a fucking bitch, he didn't he probably could have gave Teddy a run for his money.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:09

He

Assassinations Doctors And A Metal Detector

SPEAKER_00 1:03:10

also signed the law enacting the Secret Service the day he was assassinated. Yeah. April 15th, uh uh 1865. He signs the law to enact the Secret Service. At the time, the Secret Service was primarily going to be under the Department of Treasury and was going to be more of a anti-counterfeiting organization, but after the assassination, Lincoln sort of morphed into what the Secret Service is today.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:43

And then it didn't but they didn't become it wasn't until shit, I'm trying to think of what it was. Because even then when they were starting, okay, that's now they're gonna protect the president, but they were still like only like part-time, like it wasn't round the clock 24-7 365 yet.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:00

Yeah, it morphed. It like I said, it was more of a counter anti-counterfeiting agency and then slowly morphed into what it is today. Uh but yeah, it's just weird that he signed as like may have been the last thing he ever signed into and not n necessarily into law, but uh into policy. Um it's just very, very strange. Uh another assassinated president I can talk about is James Garfield. James Garfield only was president the one year, 1881, shot by uh Charles uh Gateau, who was insane. I mean, uh assassins are crazy, but this one had like he was a megalomaniac. He thought that the re he thought that he, because he supported um Garfield early in his campaign, that that's the reason Garfield got elected. And nobody had ever heard of this guy, but he in his mind was like, well, I was an early staunch supporter of this guy, so that's the reason he's elected is because of me. So he owes me a spot in his cabinet. So he talks to uh people in Garfield's cabinet and they completely ignore him. They're like, okay, no, we don't owe you anything. And that's when it became uh, oh, well, this guy's gonna ignore me. I'll show him, I'll just shoot him, and he does.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:23

Now you have to pay attention to me. Now you have to pay attention to me.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:26

And Garfield likely would have survived his assassination if he had one, again, incompetent doctors, if he had one competent doctor. Uh they didn't wash hands, so uh his wounds got infected. He lived for another 80 days after he was assassinated.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:43

And uh That's true, it was because of infection he died because it got um because of the infection. Yep, he went septic or something like that, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:50

Yeah, and and uh the bullet was still in the body. So here's the really funny part is uh Alexander Graham Bell. Had heard that the bullet was in uh Garfield's body still and they couldn't find it. Alexander Granville literally invents the metal detector for the sole purpose of finding the bullet in James Garfield's body, right? Wow. Goes, uh invents it, takes it up air, scans it, and it just keeps running hot over the whole time that they pass it over Garfield's body, right? It just keeps beeping, keeps beeping. They're like, well, this thing doesn't work. Evidently it's a failed invention. And it turns out it wasn't a failed invention. What was wrong was Garfield was laying on a mattress with metal springs underneath it, and it was detecting all of the metal underneath what they were giving it.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:48

Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:49

So it was detecting the bullet, it was detecting the metal and the springs, and it just kept on going. So had they just laid him on the floor, they may could have found it. And if they wouldn't have been looking for it to start with, he may have survived, but they just bunged it all up. But it's a shame because Garfield was probably literally, as far as IQ goes, was probably the most intelligent guy to ever hold office. He was an interesting cat in that he was fluent in both Latin and Greek, and he was also ambidextrous. So for a parlor trick, he would write out the same speech, one with his left hand and one with his right hand, the left hand in Latin, the right hand in Greek. At the same time.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:34

Maybe not the first.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:35

I mean, maybe not the first. We have we have had George Washington. I mean, George Washington, if you go back to look at some of the things he did, I don't think he was autistic.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:44

I think he was just an actual I think he was, um, if anything, I think it's more believable that he was probably like a time traveler, and they just kind of like took like a legitimate Neanderthal and they just threw a wig on.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:56

I mean, he was the guy who decided Barrack. He was the guy who decided to cross a Delaware on Christmas morning when it was frozen because he had balls of fucking steel because he was like teeth in constant pain and and just ready to kill anybody in his way. I mean, the dude was, I mean, uh, he just had to be sitting there being like, we're gonna surprise the fuck out of these people. We're gonna get up on Christmas morning while these British soldiers are opening. They're opening presents. They're opening their presents, they're having a little, you know, uh blood pudding or whatever it is they're eating. And just 6 a.m. we're crossing this frozen river to kill all these guys. Blood pudding, they're like a fucking blood bath.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:43

That's what happened, man. They just fucking slaughtered a man. And it was mainly uh, what was it? It was uh Hessian mercenaries, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:50

That's right, yeah, yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:53

Yeah, so that's that's where it's that's that's where it started with pissing the Germans off. Because it was like fucking Christmas. You're gonna fuck that's fucked up, guys. It's fucked up America.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:03

You know what? It uh it it gets stuff done, though. I mean it fucking worked. It it's don't fix it. There's other weird things about presidents that uh turned out not to be true. Like a lot of like uh a lot of people said William Howard Taft, uh, who was the fattest president we've ever had, uh, literally got stuck in a bathtub and had to have another bathtub ordered because he was stuck in it, right? Uh but that turned out not to be true. But he did have a larger bathtub ordered because he was too big for a bathtub. That part is true, but he never got stuck in it. Um he's also the only president to become a Supreme Court justice after being president, which I think is kind of a weird move. Uh he just kind of like, you know what, I'm just I'm still liking being, you know, in involved in government. Let's let's go do that. Um just a lot of you know, just again, these presidents have like little quirks to them. Like even they're uh I was talking about how being a president you never have a bad meal again, and unless you're Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon's favorite food was cottage cheese and ketchup.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:17

Ew.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:18

Yeah. Yeah. Together, right? Ew. Only only Nixon will come up with a favorite food that a nine-year-old could make, but a nine-year-old wouldn't eat.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:30

You know, I mean, it's just maybe that's what it was.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:36

He had a speech impediment. It was like so, I am not a crook. He was I am not a cook. And he just touched cheese, his ketchup. I like that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:44

Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:46

Which president was obsessed with jelly beans?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:49

Oh, that's Reagan. Yeah, Reagan had a jelly beans on his desk because he was trying to quit smoking. That's the reason he had jelly beans everywhere. Yeah.

unknown 1:10:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:59

Which there was uh one president, and God, I can't remember who which one it was, has had like a UFO experience. I can't remember which president that was.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:11

I'm surprised Eisenhower isn't your favorite president because of all the weird shit that he got into. So like Eisenhower was like, you know, he was president, he was right after Truman, wasn't he, right? Like right at the beginning of the Cold War. Uh-huh. Uh post-World War II.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:26

Yeah, Eisenhower was the president after Truman, that's right. Yes, between Truman and Kennedy.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:30

Roswell and just the the the the beginning of the massive leap in technology. So Eisenhower was the one who like I said, so there was the Roswell incident and he was on a was he golfing with one of those?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:50

I swear he was there was something like with Jackie Gleason. I'm pretty sure it was Jackie Gleason, and it was one of the presidents who was like, hey, you wanna go see some shit?

SPEAKER_04 1:12:04

Hmm.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:05

Oh, I don't know about that one, but Eisenhower actually had a um what the fuck? He had a uh like a landing strip built at like his private residence. Hmm. I think Johnson did too. I think a couple presidents did, but he had one because of however many like there were so many times there were so many like Roswell and says like a lot of the really weird

UFO Presidents Area 51 And Bush Quotes

SPEAKER_03 1:12:30

like um extraterrestrial activity was happening. He was like, I'm sick and tired of like getting there because like I think the rumor was like it took too long for him to get there that like the aliens that like were in the crash like died and he didn't get to like meet or see or whatever the fuck it was. He was like, I'm sick and tired of being late to all these things, all the fucking aliens died. So build a goddamn landing strip and a helipad at my private residence. So if I'm there, fucking fly me out of here. And so it was like so so there's lots of rumors and whatnot that he actually met with like he was the first president to like meet with aliens and kind of work with all of that one, and he was the one who, as the conspiracy theorists believe in so on and so forth, he was the one who negotiated like um what the hell is the name of that like ridiculous fucking super duper secret base? It's like seven levels. No, not Area 51. There's like another Roswell? No. Roswell, what was the accident happened? Area 51 was that. It wasn't Hangar 10. It's not there's another one. Uh I'll have to look up the name of it, but it's like it's in it's like half a mile underground. It's like way fucking underground. And there's like seven levels of it, and the lower you get, the more secret and the more fucked up it gets. Well, humans are only allowed on like the first six levels. The seventh level is just for aliens only, apparently. That's all this conspiracies and hogwash and bullshit, but apparently Eisenhower was the one who um brokered that deal, made that deal, because like I said, the beginning of just technology and like weird shit really like I want to say that isn't that like when microwaves came out and like refrigerators really started and like Velcro and like weird shit really started happening around his presidency, and like he was the he was really big into like um uh like cryptids as well, too. I think he se I think he was like questioned about whatever it was, and I think he said he either saw or he believed in um aliens, bigfoot, mothman, and um the Loch Ness monster, something like that. So he was really big and doing weird shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:46

Hmm. I had to I had to look it up. It was Nixon, um, they were playing golf. Nixon was playing golf with Jackie Gleason, and he was like, Hey, you want to go see some weird shit? And then allegedly took him to a super secret um base and introduced him to some dead aliens, and then from that moment Jackie Gleason became obsessed with UFOs, and then there was like Jackie Gleason had kind of like this almost like a house built like a UFO from what like he saw.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:24

Oh, I've seen the Jackie Gleason house that that is built like a UFO. That's a thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:29

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:31

Wow. Uh uh Dolce, Dulles, I think that's it. I had to look it up.

unknown 1:15:39

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:39

There's and then I think uh is it Wright, Wright Patterson Air Force Base also has like a lot of alien shit supposedly there too.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:50

Yeah, yeah, there's a whole bunch of different ones. So like Area 51 was where the original Roswell was uh taken to. So everything crashed in Roswell was taken to Area 51 just because Area 51 was where we were testing a lot of our top secret shit. And so it was like, okay, because it's in the middle of the goddamn desert. And uh so it's it's secluded enough. So that's where all that kind of happened, and so it's been like debunked and all this other kind of fun stuff. That's it's not just aliens, it's just it's where we test all of our top secrets, all of our stealth technology was developed there. Um the in-depth of our radar and laser targeting shit, all of our like super secret shit. Um that's where all of our our secret shit happens. So it's like, is it aliens? I don't know. Um I do love movie independence day.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:44

Area 51 is so like uh it's so it's it's almost become like their their way to cover up things. I I think you know that's kind of like the show pony, but what's really going on is some base somewhere that people don't even know about probably has some weird clandestine name, and that's like real the where the real UFO stuff happens.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:15

Like Aaron's one is the Navy SEALs of bases. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:20

Yeah, it's just you know, that's fun shit, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:23

It's still a buddy of mine. A buddy of mine is was at certain bits and parts and whatever the hell in the uh in the military and throughout the government and whatever. The kind of stuff that like he he could never tell you where he went, just that he's been places and he's some he's seen some things. Um so one of the times he he's never been he never went to Area 51. He was never in Area 51. Um but like the security they have there is wild. Anyone's ever said they, oh, I've seen it. No, you haven't. You you have not seen Area 51. Like there are signs for miles and miles around. That was like, you are being watched. There are snipers looking at you right now, and they will fucking kill you. Like, you don't play. It's like I forget how far out the cutoff is, but it's like you are turned around immediately, and they have like the technology to like get into like the Bluetooth and literally like talk to you through your car, like, stop the car now. We will shoot you. Wow. It's nuts, and it's just like people like, oh no, there's like there's yeah, there's do not turn, you cannot go here, authorized vehicles only. And people are like, what? No. It's like, yeah, hey, look to your left and they'll shoot like a flare. Yeah, that's me. Stop your car and turn around.

unknown 1:18:53

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:54

So my buddy, my buddy had to be that guy. My buddy had to be that guy for like a little bit. And uh, it's just it was wild. It's wild. Wow. Thanks, Eisenhower. Cool as shit, man. Fucking cool as shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:13

But yeah, I get to talk about presidents all night, but that's that's just some of the things I'd uh had to talk about, just how weird presidents are. We have these guys that are kind of like quasi-kings and they're you know uh exalted, and you know, even after their presidency, they're considered like these great men of history and whatnot. But when you look into them, they're just regular people, and some of them are actually kind of weird. So I just find the ordinary weird stuff kind of fascinating when it comes to them.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:43

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:45

I think the weird thing is now is that most of them are for the most part, they're just like guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:53

Yeah, they're just guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:54

They're just yeah, that same that's uh that same friend, he did plenty of like security like with presidents and things like that. And he's met I don't even know how I can't remember like how far back he says. I want to say it was I think the oldest one he met was like Carter. I think it was Carter, but he met like both the Bushes, and um they were they were fantastic. He said George is like George W, I should say. W is just like hysterical. He's just like a a a doofus. Like he's just like just like any guy. Like he definitely force gumped his way into the fucking Oval Office. Like there's no way.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:38

Some of the Bush quotes are hilarious. My favorite.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:41

My favorite some of my favorite ones is um Um I Have No Problem with Gay Marriage as long as it's between a gay man and a gay woman. I love that one. That's that one's fucking gold. But though it was like live TV, like when we were first getting the boots um with uh what was it, with the uh the invasion of Fallujah? Something like that. Well, like we were getting like the when we really started to get the shit kicked out of us. And uh we were starting to lose you know, we were starting to lose support back home, and he's like on the golf course, and they called like an emergency meeting with him, and so there's reporters and whatever, live fucking TV. It's like I call upon all nations to help stop these terrorist acts. And he's he's like begging for support from like the UN to like also come and kick ass. We must stop these terrorist acts. Thank you. Now watch it. Watch this drive, and he fucking sends it. He sends it three fucking miles back. Oh god, it's Tiger Woods jacks off to that shot every night. No way he does it. It is the most beautiful shot ever. Fucking sends it shit. It blends it.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:47

Oh, it's beautiful. Uh my favorite beautiful. My favorite W quote is fool me once, shame on shame on shame on you. Fool me twice, well, we won't get fooled again.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:03

Would just come up with his own words. He would put just like Sean and Kate at the end.

unknown 1:22:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:10

He goes, Yeah, we're gonna we gotta do this one. I think he went to go say a reciprocate, but it's like he said like reciprocation or something like that. Like he just came up with words. Oh god, it was so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:24

I mean, I just remember those days and just being like, oh, and those are those are fun. Yeah. Um like him talking about like him and John McCain in that race where they're asking him about uh, you know, the primary race, and he says, I think we can agree the past is over. It's like, well, yeah, that's how the past is over. Well, no shit, that's how it happens.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:48

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:50

I love the clip where the guy throws a shoe at him and he just ducks and starts laughing.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:55

Both of them. He's like, it's it's a fun game because he was in like he was in like Yemen or something like that. He was in a completely different country. And so he had like, oh, this is fun. I like your culture. This is cool. Like he's looking around at everybody else.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:09

Like, it's fucking hysterical. Wasn't he the one also said they misunderestimated me? Wasn't that George W. Bush? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:17

Yep, it was W. And he goes, Oh, yeah. They thought it, and he was it was like right after he won his second election. Right after he won. Like he won his second election.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:26

They never thought I would win again, but they misunderestimated me, and that's their biggest fault.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:31

It's like, oh fuck.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:33

Here we go. Here we go.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:35

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:39

He's also the guy that said, Is our children learning? That's uh just fun. Those are those are the days.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:51

Oh man, that was fucking.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:53

Yeah. Yeah, this is the kind of stuff I like when it comes to presidents, just how goofy they can be and how like just regular, like, you know, kind of kind of guys.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:05

Yeah, and I I really don't think any of them quite know what they're getting into. Because man, the they age. They age so badly in those eight years. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:20

Yeah, that eight years is rough.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:23

It's rough, yeah. Yeah, for sure. All right, well, we're gonna wrap this episode up. Thank you so much, Scott, for being here with us. No, thanks again for having us. It's been a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:37

Yeah, it's always fun. I appreciate you all uh having me on. This is always a good time.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:45

I can feel I could feel something bubbling up in

Closing Thanks And Next Week

SPEAKER_01 1:24:48

him.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:48

No, I'm just I'm just I'm leaving it. I said.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:53

No, it's it's fine. Um for those of you who have listened, thank you for listening. Uh, like, share, do all the things, you know the drill at this point. Um, and we'll catch you next week.